"it's a shitty job"

the other day i was carrying the baby down the basement stairs and missed the last step. i could have dropped the baby onto the cement floor and stopped my own fall, but instead i fell and deliberately landed so the baby wouldn't get hurt. i'm not actually trying to sound all heroic, i'm just trying to explain why i'm now on crutches after falling a foot and a half. my foot hurts like someone smashed it with a sledgehammer then lit it on fire, and my baby toe is sticking out at a funny angle, but the hospital says it's not broken. no matter what's wrong with it, i can't walk on it. or bend it. or brush lightly against it. or think about it. writing this paragraph is painful.

so my partner has had to do everything around here. changing babies, making meals and coffee, helping me get to the bathroom, supervising the boy... at the moment the boy is really interested in his cornhole and his poop, so my poor man is flipping out on a regular basis. last night the baby wasn't ready to sleep until 1 am, then the boy got up at 7. my partner got freaking cranky and was stomping around crabbing at all of us. i made him come talk to me.

'relax. getting worked up over no sleep doesn't help.'
'i only got SIX HOURS of sleep! and now he's going to be up all day, doing stuff!!!'
'i do this every. single. day. the difference between how much sleep you got and how much i usually get is that i have to wake up to feed the baby a few times a night. sleeplessness is part of the job.'
'it's a shitty job'

no freaking kidding.