planned childbirth

don't bother trying to call me tomorrow, and don't look for me online, i'm going to be in labour.

'what?' you say, 'you're pregnant? i had no idea!'

'well, i'm not. i haven't been in a while, and i probably won't be ever again' i reply.

'but you said you're going to be in labour tomorrow. you mean labour as in childbirth, right?' you ask, confusion dancing across your features

'that's right. i'll have midwives in attendance, checking my vitals, even'

at this point i quit being so mysterious and explain myself.

'you see, dear reader, i'm helping my midwife-friend out. she's leading a workshop tomorrow for her fellow midwives, demonstrating some sort of midwifey technique thing. and she needs someone to demonstrate on. i'll get to expose my well-hidden thespian side and spend the day giving birth. how's that for random?'

'oh, yes,' you agree, nodding vigorously 'that is very random indeed'