what not to do

i ate a whole mocha cake in less than 24 hours. hell, less than 20. maybe 15. or less. it was a lot of cake and i now regret it, since my toilet is currently clogged and i have a lot of poop. it turns out that eating a whole cake makes you poop lots. don't do it if your toilet is less than operational.

also, don't flush a huge chunk of rotting rice. sure, you might think that the rice will break up into little pieces in the toilet and flush down beautifully, but if you think that you're wrong. then if you have to poop lots because you were a serious cake glutton you will end up with a stinky, stinky bathroom.

tonight i was going to take a bath, but i had to change my plans because the air quality in my bathroom is quite bad. really bad. shitty, in fact. so i ended up doing homework instead.

so, to sum up, flushing rice is bad because it won't flush so when you get goopy cake poop it will sit and ferment in your toilet bowl, preventing baths and forcing you to do homework when you'd rather not.

the moral of the story: don't leave rice in the fridge too long, it leads to poor hygiene.

fun for the whole family

i was given a couch yesterday. it's one of those fantastic couches with removable cushions. my kids have never had one like this before. so, of course, i taught them how to make forts.they liked it. a lot.

this week has been really hard. i took too many hours at work, was swamped with schoolwork, and didn't do anything fun at all. the work was shitty (pun intended, see previous post) the homework was tedious and uninteresting, and i was really lonely.
and yet i've been much happier this week, with all its suckiness, than i was before i moved to my new house. the realization that even a really bad week can't drain my joy at being here, being independent, was huge confirmation that i've done the right thing. i know that things will get better as i improve at managing my time and learn to say no to shifts. I'm told that this is the hardest part, and if this is the worst it gets i'm just fine. i'm laughing.

underpaid

i intended to blog last night, but instead when i got home from work i went straight past the computer, put every stitch of clothing i was wearing in the laundry, and had a painfully hot bath.

let me tell you about my evening.

i work for an agency that staffs the homes of people with intellectual disabilities. they frequently have other disabilities, too. the agency keeps sending me into homes that i haven't been trained in, where i can sink or swim. i'm not a huge fan of that practice.

last night i was in a home i'd never been in. two elderly, deaf women lived there. during dinner, loud, ominous noises came from one woman's rear end. scary noises. later i got to see the result of the noises. all over the bathroom floor. the linen closet was devoid of towels and there were only four squares of paper towel to be found in the whole house. on top of that, i couldn't find the surgical gloves. and this was a serious puddle. the light brown fluid had spread out all over the floor. i was barefoot and it soaked into the crevices in between my toes. the bottoms of my pants wicked it up. as i cleaned it up (with my bare hands) the cuff of my shirt dipped into it. i was a human shit sponge.

as i was cleaning the woman was sitting in a bath, theoretically to get clean. the water was brown with stuff floating in it. she couldn't stand in order to shower, so this was the best we could do. freaking gross. when she was ready to get out i rushed all over the house, searching for a towel. nope. she waited in the tub while i looked, screaming at me that she was getting cold, and what's the holdup?

i eventually found a towel. they were in a closed cardboard box in the back of a closet.

seriously, folks. i am very, very underpaid.

quickie

hey, just stopping in to say hi. i just finished writing 15 pages of homework for one of my classes so my brain is fried. i'm going to go home and not think at all until tomorrow.

things are going well. i officially have two jobs now, although neither is giving me any hours at the moment. i'm told that will change soon. my tomato seedlings are gearing up to go in the ground, school is fine, and tonight i'm going to make fried rice for my dinner. tomorrow i hope to buy a laptop, but it depends. i keep emailing and calling about laptops i find for sale online and things keep not working out. yesterday i spent ages waiting around a burger joint for a guy to show up, and he never did. as we waited my kids ate their weight in fries. i've learned that trying to get an affordable used laptop with two little kids in tow, riding the bus, sucks. seriously. ugh. but eventually i'll have one and i'll be able to start blogging again.

anyways, internet, i love you and miss you like crazy. i hope to see you again soon.

good news and bad news

the good:
i got a job! maybe two, we'll see. and school is great. and i love my new house.
the bad:
my laptop died a sudden death. so no internet at home or when i'm out and about. just stupidass library internet. and no using my laptop to play movies and music, keep track of my schedule, play games, read books or file my recipes. i'm really, really lost.
the good:
i get my tax return soon, so i will have a new laptop within a month.
the bad:
a MONTH?!?!!? are you kidding me? what deity did i offend.
the good:
i have a job! maybe two, we'll see. and school is great. and i love my new house.

so anyways, don't expect much from this blog in the next little while. definitely don't expect pictures. i think i'll take up cleaning my house obsessively to fill the void left by the computer's unfortunate demise. that will be me over there with the rubber gloves and toothbrush, scrubbing the grout for the eighth time today. harrumph.

first night

the evening after i moved i worked and worked and worked, getting almost everything unpacked and set up. there are still things to do, like procuring wall art and a microwave, but i'm happy with things, so far.

after i'd gotten completley worn out unpacking, i made tea and sat in this chairwith tea, knitting, and a good friend nearby. with so many sore muscles it was just perfect. (by the way, i'm making a modified version of nutkin socks in lorna's laces sock yarn)
then i fell into bed and slept and slept and slept. in the morning i looked up, saw that everything was well with the world, and went back to sleep.

moving in

my new house is spacious and full of light. hardwood floors, lots of windows, colourful walls, big rooms. also some small rooms, but enough big ones that the place feels like a palace. to the left is the dining room, to the right is the sunroom. the fireplace is decorative only, but it's brick. the built in shelves are the fanciest ones in the place, but there are actually lots of areas with them. the windows are old school, as is the trim. the whole place has a comfortable, funky feel to it. there's an eat-in kitchen, making this spacious dining room extraneous. not that i'm complaining. on the far right you can see the desk in the sun room. my plants will be in heaven.

so, overall, i approve of my new accomodations.

some news

tomorrow i start school. you didn't know i applied to school? that's because i didn't tell you. fear of rejection and all that. (rejection from the school, not you readers. i know you'd stick with me through thick & thin)

anyways, i'm beginning a social work program, to be finished in the next five years. hopefully less. i don't actually want to be a babysnatcher or anything like that, but a few jobs i've seen that appealed to me in the past while have required a bsw, so maybe i should get one. the alternative is continuing to be unable to get a good job and so wasting my life at jobs that bore and underpay me. i'm thrilled to finally be moving on with my life instead of remaining an unhappy housewife.

speaking of moving on, i'm relocating on thursday. i will take up residence in a nice little place not far from here. it has a fantastic south-facing sunroom, it's near a park and a library, and no metal music will be played on the premises. yes, you read that right, my partner is not accompanying me on the move. but the kids are, half-time. more on that another day.

i'm also desperately looking for a job.

and the new place won't have internet. not for the first month, anyways.

so between the kids, school, (hopefully) work, and adapting to living on my own after spending a quarter of my life with my partner, i don't think i'll be blogging daily. i'll shoot for weekly. but you'll get to see how i transform an already beautiful space into a beautiful living space that is mine. fascinating, non?

so anyways, i'll be in touch.

toodle-oo.

planned childbirth

don't bother trying to call me tomorrow, and don't look for me online, i'm going to be in labour.

'what?' you say, 'you're pregnant? i had no idea!'

'well, i'm not. i haven't been in a while, and i probably won't be ever again' i reply.

'but you said you're going to be in labour tomorrow. you mean labour as in childbirth, right?' you ask, confusion dancing across your features

'that's right. i'll have midwives in attendance, checking my vitals, even'

at this point i quit being so mysterious and explain myself.

'you see, dear reader, i'm helping my midwife-friend out. she's leading a workshop tomorrow for her fellow midwives, demonstrating some sort of midwifey technique thing. and she needs someone to demonstrate on. i'll get to expose my well-hidden thespian side and spend the day giving birth. how's that for random?'

'oh, yes,' you agree, nodding vigorously 'that is very random indeed'

four good things

i've been in a funk for a few days, so i am going to list some of the things in my life that are good.

1. last night i did a short session with a yoga dvd before bed, and it was wonderful. each of the dozen or so times that the babes woke me up i noticed how good my spine felt. when i'm done this post i'll do another session, and have another happy-spine night.

2. i won a contest! see? i think the prize is yarn, but i won't know for sure until i get an exciting surprise in the mail. the blog that hosted the contest is worth checking out, it's a collaborative effort with lots of good cat and knitting pictures.

3. my bff socks are practically knitting themselves. i've already started the second one, and the first looks fantastic. see? the yarn is very nice, the pattern gives me shivers, the knitting is supremely enjoyable, the end product is excellent. i'm not going to want to give these up when i finish them. i will, though, because no matter how nice the socks are, daffodylic is nicer and i want her feet to be clad in my love.

4. i drink fantastic coffee. really good coffee can make even the shittiest type of day quite a bit better.

so here's to coffee, friends, socks, knitting, contests, yarn, blogs, yoga and supple spines!

cheers!

late february lists

tomorrow my little family is going away for a one-night vacation. we'll chase the kids around outside then chase them around in a pool, and when they're too tired to stand up we'll put them to bed early, break out the booze, and watch tv. i can hardly wait. i haven't watched law & order since last summer.

today i have been packing. it used to be that packing to go away for one measly night would take three minutes, right before i breeze out the door. but things have changed.
so far i have:

• a 5 inch high stack of books for the babes and i. this doesn't include my partner's reading stack, which will doubtless be at least a couple of inches
• a french press, freshly ground coffee, and mugs, since the small town where we're going might not have the quality of coffee that we have come to require
• a bag with fruit, eggs, rice, juice, soymilk, cereal, etc, etc. enough food for several days.
• ten diapers, two baggies with wipes, two pairs of underwear, three pairs of pants, three shirts, two pairs of socks, two swimsuits, two sweaters, long underwear, a sleeper and a pair of pj's. and i haven't packed a single item of clothing for myself, yet.
• the laptop, charger, camera, and extra batteries. should i bring the crappy old camera, just in case?
• a 6 inch stack of cd's for the road. this will doubtless grow before we leave, and we will still bemoan the lack of selection at some point.
• yarn, needles, and accessories, plus the pattern for the bff socks. also, all the additional help i could find for the two new stitches i'll be using, a cabled increase and a cabled decrease. all somewhat legibly written on the back of some junk mail.
• tomorrow before we leave town we'll need to stop for groceries, booze and more books.

~*~

today my valentine's present arrived from my friend claire. lookit!

amazing, face-rubbingly soft organic cotton, my favourite! and hearts, to be all seasonally-appropriate. does it get any better than this? because i don't think it does. the really cool part is that literally a minute after opening the mail and being overwhelmed with glee i felt a little surge... time to use one of these puppies! claire, your valentine's present isn't late. it's exactly on time. thanks, lovely!

dear

dear lover:
you are a saint. thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou for watching the kids when you got home from your (12 hour!!) night shift. when i got home (at 3 pm!) they were happy, well fed and clean. i'll find a way to repay you.

dear baby:
you can sleep now, it's ok. in fact, babies all over this time zone are sleeping at this very moment. go ahead.

dear sock:
please knit your own damned self. and be done by monday morning, ok?

dear obama:
when you started choosing your cabinet i was bummed, it looked like all the hype was going to come to nothing, based on your choices. but you've proven my pessimism wrong, so far. i definitley don't agree with you 100%, but you've gotten more right than any other politician active in my lifetime. thanks!

dear money: you should consider entering in along-term, stable relationship with me. i'm very nice, i promise.

dear daffodylic: i really wanted to talk to you last night, then again this afternoon. i wish you lived next door.

dear self: you're doing ok. things aren't perfect, but you are doing well. please take moments to be peaceful and grateful.

dear winter: enough already, get lost

dear ikea: i'll see you in april, and i can't wait.

kisses,
me

true love, 584 style

this year for valentine's day i gave my partner a gift with heart.
pig heart, that is.
and he let me know that he thinks i'm a bag.ok, ok, so the pig heart* was one of the random parts we got with the 1/2 pig we bought last fall.** and because i'm not that cruel, he also gets a 6 of beer. i picked the bag out for myself yesterday, and i love it. my new camera***
finally has a home!


* i also gave my partner the pig's tongue, just because. but i didn't take a picture because looking at it made me want to puke
**there's a local guy who raises pigs ethically. he grows the grain to feed them, even. organically. ethical meat! cheaper than the grocery store! and much, much tastier!
*** i recently got an exciting new camera! a million times than my shitty-ass old one. it's fan-freakin'-tabulous. yay for random gifts from wealthy relatives!

a lazy sunday: book review, recipe & photos

yesterday it was -40 and my partner was stuck at work, thanks to car trouble. so from the time we woke up until bedtime, the boys and i were on our own, housebound. plus the internet was down.
it was cold. hell-ass cold.


and, as we all know, the best thing to do when it's cold is make some delicious from-scratch chili that simmers its way to perfection over the course of the day. mine was made with garden black beans, farmers market veggies and lots of love.

we filled our day. there were stories read, naps taken, snacks munched, tickles,


songs hummed, (ani's present/infant, from her new album) (<-- track 3) blocks stacked, star wars watched ( the return of the jedi. yoda, jabba, darth vader and ewoks all in the same movie? plus a space battle? my kids think they've died and gone to heaven) and coffee sipped thoughtfully. i also made farmers market/ garden salsa. here's how.

• in the summer i gathered cilantro, onions, garlic, lemon juice, salt and hot peppers and threw them all in the blender. when the mixture was liquefied and burned my sinuses if i inhaled too close to it, i divided it up into baggies and froze them.
• i also processed a mountain of fresh corn and tomatoes and green peppers.
• yesterday i thawed a baggie of the salsa base, plus tomatoes and corn and green peppers. if i could have left the house i would have gotten avocado.
• i chopped the green peppers and tomatoes and mixed them into the base with the corn. then i pulled out the tortilla chips. i also mixed in some blue cheese, but many people would find that gross. many people are wrong.

i've been reading a cure for grief by nellie hermann. i'm not sure if i'll finish it. it's a good book - the author is clearly well educated and an adept writer. the pace is good, the prose is sparse and direct, the characters are relatable... but i feel like a peeping tom. the book is obvoiusly a thinly veiled autobiography. (the author's biography and the book match nearly perfectly.)

a cure for grief is 272 pages of pain. the protagonist lives through tradgedy after tradgedy, and every moment of her agony is expressed on the pages. it's not melodramatic or cheesy, at all. heartwrenching is more the word. and intensely personal. i feel guilty about reading something so private. hermann is a master of the english language andhas phenomenal skill as a writer, but this book is too visceral and too real to be read as entertainment.


of course, i can't read and drink coffee (and red wine mixed with cranberry juice) without knitting. my first project of 2009 was chosen to test my knitterly skills. i'm making hedera, from knitty. i'm over the moon that they're turning out. keeping track of a 4-row lace pattern when the little dudes are calling my attention away from the needles every few seconds is a real feat, i believe. on top of the complex stitch pattern, i though i'd try knitting these socks two at a time, toe-up. that's working out so far, too. and after so long using yarns i didn't like, dream in color's smooshy is pure bliss. the yarn is sproingy and soft and knits up quickly into a dense, smooth fabric with a subtle sheen. i'm not crazy about the colour, but the yarn itself is fantastic.
i haven't decided yet who i am making these for. on the one hand, i would love to show them off to everyone i see the way i've bragged on them here. then again, i don't have any nice shoes that would showcase them and so i'd have to pull off my boots or runners every time i wanted people to see them, and people might view me askance if i started pulling off my footwear on the bus and in the library and post office and grocery store. plus i'm not crazy about the colour. i don't have to decide just yet, i have a few more hours' work until i'm at the point where i decide what size they will be. you have until then to state your case in the comments.

coming to you from the upstairs bedroom

i'm naked.

for as long as i've known him, my partner has talked about how what he really wants to do with his life is... um... he's asked that i not tell anyone his hobby. so we'll call it roller skating. so, yeah. he's always felt that his true calling is to roller skate. he's read about it, thought about it, taken the odd tentative step with roller skates on... mostly he's just talked about how much he'd like to roller skate. to be honest, after the first couple years of him being all talk and no action, i started nodding and zoning out when he mentioned roller skating.

this past week he surprised me. he actually put on some skates and did it. and he did it really, really well. like a roller skating olympian. i was deeply impressed, and more than that, really excited that he'd taken the initiative and actually done something about his passion.

since then he's been obsessed, in the way that only someone who's feeling inspired can be, with roller skating. everything reminds him of it. he keeps coming up with new, great ideas related to roller skating, and he rushes off to write them down so he doesn't forget. i've never seen him like this, and i really like it.

the trouble is, he can only roller skate alone. he can't do it with the kids around or with me in the room. he works 50 or so hours a week, but it's all night shifts so he's sleeping during the day a lot of the time. this leaves me alone with the kids all night and all day, 4 or 5 days a week. i get them food, change them, entertain them, clean up after them... i might get half an hour without them in a typical day, but that's only if i cut into my sleeping time. and i don't get much sleeping time, since both kids are miserably bad sleepers.

can you see how my partner having an exciting new (time consuming, solitary) hobby is a problem?

yesterday he kept sneaking off when i wasn't paying attention. in the end the day was a lot like the ones i have when he's sleeping. i wasn't particularly impressed. then last night he informed me that he'd be staying up late roller skating, sleeping in, roller skating, and napping before work. (he works tonight)

um, hell no.

so when the kids woke up at 6 i came upstairs (he sleeps up here during the day, and lately at night, too, so he can roller skate) and sent him down to care for his children. it's almost 10 am and my stomach is rumbling. i desperately want coffee. but more than that, even, i want a break from my kids.

so i took my clothes off (he can't coerce me into doing childcare when i'm not wearing anything, right?) (plus i haven't been naked just for the fun of it in about two years. it feels good) and pulled out the laptop and will stay here until the hunger pangs force me downstairs again.

later, when the baby is napping, i'll take the boy outside to play and shovel the walk. then my partner can work on his roller skating... until the baby wakes up.

i spend enough time alone with kids. i'm not going to become a roller skating widow. grrrrr.

signing off,
that naked chick

(no, kara, this post does not have pictures)

i'm a winner.

remember the contests i mentioned a couple of posts ago? well, let me tell you.

i won!!!!!!

i'm stoked. i never win things. except that time i won an ipod, but that was a total fluke, because i never win things. i came in last in a 3-legged race when i was 4 and got a little medal for it, and i still have it because i never win things. have i mentioned that i never win things? anyways, i get one of the wristlets from here. i'm going to leave it in the shipping package and get my partner to give it to me for christmas or solstice or whatever we decide to celebrate, in the end.


other news:

you, my most astute of readers, may have noticed that my posts have been sadly photo-less of late. my camera died. i need to call the company (damn you, olympus!) but i hate calling people and i hate confronting people and i'm pretty sure i won't get a new camera without both calling someone and being (politely) confrontational. so i've been putting it off for a couple of weeks and it sucks. i hate not having a camera. every day moments happen that i have to just sit and enjoy instead of running for the camera and missing. it sucks. i'm stuck watching the baby obsessively hug and kiss the boy. and i have to listen to the baby figure out new words instead of just recording them and watching later. and the boy's silly faces and clever, articulate observations? i have to actually enjoy them and respond to them instead of just putting a small recording device in his face. woe is me.

i'll call the camera company next week.

ps. i have no idea why the font is so big today. but i kind of like it, it'll make life easier for those readers who are optically challenged.

and the geek goes on

i'm taking part in a play food swap. i made knitted bacon and little dishcloths.please excuse the picture quality, my camera wasn't charged so i had to use the webcam.

my friends have teased me relentlessly since this whole 'knitting bacon' fiasco has begun. they don't see the crafting of pork products as a worthwhile endeavor. little do they know.

today i will mail these out. and i do not intend to knit any more bacon for a long, long time. well, except the bacon scarf and fried egg mittens my friend asked me to make for her...

everything grows

my baby has his first flu. he's burning hot to the touch and pouring puke, tears, snot, drool and shit from all the right orfices. the poor little man is miserable. he wants to be held at all times and only sleeps in my arms. by 'sleep' i mean he takes restless naps for no longer than ten minutes. i'm in a fog of exhaustion, unable to even fathom keeping up with the making of food or cleaning of the home. the boy has mostly been left to his own devices, and he's been really good. mostly.

my garden has been bursting at the seams. most of it remains unphotographed, (so far) but i have mountains of black beans, massive beets, a few cukes, a good showing of carrots, some peas, several sunflowers, ripening yellow peppers, a huge, brilliant hot pepper, and a flood of tomatoes. this is less than 1/3 of my tomato harvest so far. there are 5 varieties here. if it doesn't look like much,bear in mind that my garden would fit in most peoples' bathrooms. and tomato season is just begun. (it runs for another 3 weeks, until the first frost)


today i went with some friends to an amazing organic greenhouse. they had everything. herbs, trees, flowers, etc. almost everything was rare or unusual. apricot orange trees, patchouli plants... you name it, they had some obscure variation of it, organically grown, suited to these bitter canadian climes. i wandered around touching leaves and calling out my discoveries to my friends (also trying to keep the boy from destroying the place, it was his first time out of the house in days and he had some energy to burn)
in the end i limited myself to three plants. a banana stalk, a hot pepper, and a guava tree. (not pictured) all of them fruit. i'll be one of the few canadians eating local, organic bananas and guavas this winter. sweet!

bunneriffic!

rabbtastic!

mid-july: we got phyllis and gladys. they had just been bred.

the next 3.5 weeks: we were not sure if they were pregnant or not. hoping they were.

august 13: they started pulling tufts of fur out of their chest to line their nesting boxes. we got them nesting boxes. said boxes were too small so they ignored them. found one bigger box and gave it to phyllis, continued to hunt for another box for gladys

august 15: in the morning we noticed that phyllis has given birth. in the afternoon gladys kindled, too. but her babies were born on the wire floor of the cage. (newborn rabbits look like this:they aren't exactly cute)
gladys' offspring were on the floor of her cage, struggling pathetically, and on the cement floor of the basement. there's a little gap at the bottom of the cage that they must have been magnetically drawn to, since there was no other way for them to get out. either way, there were babies all over. one was dead. i gathered the babies into the too-small nesting box and went upstairs to call around for a properly sized box. i found one pretty quickly. when i went back downstairs to move the babies to the bigger box i found that phyllis had tipped the box onto it's side so she could feed her young. their bellies were taut and they were too deeply asleep to notice when i moved them.
i was really impressed with gladys' mothering. i'd read that mothers often abandon their young if they're handled too soon after the birth, and i was afraid that we'd lose the whole brood. i was reading up on getting phyllis to foster them. gladys and her instincts kick ass.

august 16: in the evening i went downstairs to check on the babies and feed the mamas. i found a baby on the floor a few feet from the cage. it was very cold and barely moving, but when it smelled its mama it started squeaking. did you know that rabbits can squeak? only when they're really freaked out. anyways, i checked on the baby a few hours later and gladys had fed it. such a great mama.

august 17: in the evening my partner found another baby several feet from the cage. it had to have been on the floor for at least 48 hours. this one didn't make any noise when it smelled its mama. it died a few hours later.

august 21:august 26: the bunnies have gotten at least 5x bigger than they were at birth. they're really cute. they opened their eyes.

august 27: i've been reading up on vermiculture (aka vermicomposting, using worms to compost) and am trying out a worm bin under gladys' cage. so these are the newest residents of the house:red wigglers!!!

how the mighty have fallen

i'm posting this from the city library. people are behind me, waiting their turns on the computer, reading over my shoulder. alas, i have no internet at home. and the phone isn't really working. but it might be fixed on thursday, we'll see.

i'm so, so bored without internet. and when i have a sudden thought i can't go google it right away, as is my habit. so i haven't yet learned all wikipedia can tell me about buffy st marie, although i started wondering about her a few days ago.

on the bright side, i'm getting lots of reading done. and some knitting. and if it weren't so blisteringly hot i'd be canning and baking and stuff. instead i'm eating ice cream and counting down the hours to to thursday.

i have to go, the line behind me is getting long and grumbly. but my bunnies have had bunnies. i'll tell you all about it as soon as i can, i promise.