584 taking it outside

2009-06-24T17:09:00.004-05:00

summer is finally here. it sure took long enough coming. i can finally safely say that i won't be posting any more complaints about unseasonable snow until september. hopefully october, but i don't want to get my hopes up. stupidass prairie weather.

one of the great things about my new house is that my some of predecessors were (and still are) gardeners. thanks to these fabulous people i have deliciously cool ferns near the front door. i like ferns because they make a little ecosystem all their own. no matter how hot the day gets things stay cool and breezy under the ferns. bugs can go there to cool off. many do, when things get blazingly hot. when i was a kid i tried to hide from the sun under a bank of ferns and got chased out by a million irate bugs defending their territory. bugs aren't the best at sharing, it turns out.
the previous inhabitants of my home also planted strawberries. i will have berries soon. there are no words for how much i'm looking forward to the sun-warmed berries. is there anything better on this planet? maybe, but not by much.

i have daisies. the summeriest flowers i can imagine.

lilacs. my boy eats these by the fistful. i did that at his age, until i became agile enough to dissect the flowers so i could have just the nectar. eating lilacs is one of my favourite annual traditions.

i also have lily of the valley and a bunch of other nice stuff already flourishing without my help.

because of the preexisting plants i don't have a whole lot of space to plant. i don't mind, since i've had no time at all to be working outside over the last few months. it turns out that work, school and childcare all take up a great deal of time. who knew?!?!?
i've been container gardening to compensate for the lack of garden space. i've never done container gardening before, but so far it's pretty straightforward.

the simplest kind of container gardening is bringing houseplants outside and letting them soak up the sun. my homepeppers are infatuated with their new environment. i've never gotten such a fantastic number of peppers at once, and never seen such fat, tasty looking peppers. my salsa will be damned good this year.

my tomatoes are happy and flourishing, and so am i. i hope you are, too.

emotional exploration

2009-06-15T08:24:00.003-05:00

i'm taking a counselling course in school. it's done in five days, (yay!) but for the past two months i've had a flurry of newly learned counselling skillz circling my brain. (i'd rather have nunchuck skillz, thankyouverymuch)

i've been trying to use these skills whenever i can, since practice makes perfect and all that. it's been frustrating, though, since the two people i spend the most time with aren't really into exploring their feelings.

me: little boy, how do you feel about that?
the boy: how do i feel about it, mama?
me: you tell me.
the boy: no, you tell me. how do i feel?
me: you feel... ticklish! (big ticklefight ensues)
me: no, seriously, how does this make you feel?
the boy: how does it make me feel?
(many repetitions and explanations later)
the boy: it makes me feel.... good. mama, what makes me feel good?
me: .... (having forgotten what we were originally talking about)

i don't even try with the baby.
so, you see, honing my counselling skillz at home is a little difficult. do you want to know how this makes me feel?

what not to do

2009-06-08T23:57:00.001-05:00

i ate a whole mocha cake in less than 24 hours. hell, less than 20. maybe 15. or less. it was a lot of cake and i now regret it, since my toilet is currently clogged and i have a lot of poop. it turns out that eating a whole cake makes you poop lots. don't do it if your toilet is less than operational.

also, don't flush a huge chunk of rotting rice. sure, you might think that the rice will break up into little pieces in the toilet and flush down beautifully, but if you think that you're wrong. then if you have to poop lots because you were a serious cake glutton you will end up with a stinky, stinky bathroom.

tonight i was going to take a bath, but i had to change my plans because the air quality in my bathroom is quite bad. really bad. shitty, in fact. so i ended up doing homework instead.

so, to sum up, flushing rice is bad because it won't flush so when you get goopy cake poop it will sit and ferment in your toilet bowl, preventing baths and forcing you to do homework when you'd rather not.

the moral of the story: don't leave rice in the fridge too long, it leads to poor hygiene.

my apologies to twilight fans everywhere

2009-06-08T22:18:00.002-05:00

i have been watching twilight. all i can say is:

according to facebook quizzes:

2009-06-04T11:58:00.004-05:00

i will get married when i'm 19
(i was 20)
my marriage will last forever
(um, no. but 6 years is forever when you're 3, right? so it depends on perspective, maybe)
i should marry johnny depp
(HELL, YEAH. although marriage isn't actually what i think about when i think of him)
if i am an 80's tv character, i am punky brewster
(sure beats alf)
i should have 3 kids
if i am a cheese, i am brie
(Your personality is rich and classy, with an exterior that some may find daunting to stomach, but is well worth the discomfort once they get to know you. You have expensive taste, but not flashy at first glance. You are much better once the atmosphere has warmed up a bit. Strong yet gentle, it takes a distinctive person to appreciate you.)
i'm really 22 years old

ok, that's enough for now. a girl can only take so much self-revelation before lunch.

when he grows up he wants to be a man

2009-06-02T22:38:00.006-05:00

you know the kid in every crowd that's crazy and all over the place and you think to yourself 'man, i'm glad i'm not that kid's mom' or 'geez, that kid's mom is definitely doing something wrong'?
today i was that kid's mom.

i like to think that my boy is well behaved and likable, generally. i've been told many times by many people that he's bright, funny, polite and a joy to be around. apparently they were lying.

today my boy got kicked out of toddler storytime at the library. i didn't even know it was possible, but my kid managed. true, he was being a pain. he couldn't sit still to save his life. he was jumping up to see what the baby and i were doing, checking out all the doors in the hallway to see if any were unlocked, sitting down for part of a story, running over to tell me about the story... he was being disruptive and hyperactive. i was not impressed, but i can't exactly give the kid a stern talking-to in the middle of storytime, you know?

and in his defense, storytime was pretty awful. normally the storyteller reads slowly and with expression, and gets the kids to hop around between stories so they can focus better. normally my boy loves storytime and has no problem. today there was a different woman, one who speed-read without taking breaks between books. her goal was to read as many farm-themed books as she could cram into the time allotted, apparently. her style really didn't work for my kid. the other kids looked pretty restless, too, but none was jumping all over the place like my own precious crack-addled monkey.

when the assistant asked us to leave i wanted to sink into the floor. i grabbed my kids and hauled them, screaming, from the room. i grabbed some kids' movies and headed for the checkout desk. the woman who had asked us to go was there, and as she scanned the movies she offered me some colouring sheets. i declined, wanting to get the hell out of there, and she asked innocently 'oh, your kids don't even sit still long enough to colour?'

i muttered something about too many colouring books already and left.

do you think she meant that in a bitchy way? it sure sounded snarky, but that librarian is usually really sweet. it sounded mean, though... i don't know. what i do know is that my little guy is crushed that we can't go to storytime any more.

the making of a home: living room edition

2009-06-01T19:46:00.003-05:00

the new couch has turned my living room from a room with scattered, random furniture, some of which was comfortable for sitting on, into a cohesive living room. i have no before pictures, but check out my 'after' shots:

here you can see my chair in one of the only places in the house that i can get internet. i spend a lot of time in that chair.

eventually i'll put that dresser in a bedroom and get something more conventional to hold the tv , and i need art for my walls, but i really like my living room.

mother nature hates me

2009-06-01T19:34:00.004-05:00

this week i finished planting. i converted my front yard into an urban tomato farm. i'd decided that i'd just grow tomatoes this year, since i have limited time & space, and of all the things i grow, tomatoes bring me the greatest joy.

but then, five minutes ago, mother nature gave her opinion.and apparently she didn't think much of my gardening plans.she especially hated my very favourite tomato plant.i guess when the hail melts and things dry out a bit i'll convert my failed tomato farm into a carrot and beet farm. yippee.

an educational sunday post

2009-05-31T21:42:00.005-05:00

denise from summerland scrubs on etsy (who makes my favourite lotion) wrote this up when i asked her what to look for or avoid in bathroom-y products. it's rife with really good information. enjoy.

What to Look for in a Bath & Body Product(When You're Trying to go Au Naturale)

There are soooo many ingredients in bath and body products nowadays, it can make your head spin. It is easier, I find, to eliminate choices by ingredients you feel(or that have been proven to be by scientific testing) to be harmful to you, or your environment for that matter. Then, once you have found a fairly wholesome product or two, you can contrast and compare the ingredients by what they do for your skin, hair, etc.(like cocoa butter verses shea butter).

To start off with, I will go over some ingredients that are both unneccesary and harmful in one way or another in bath and body products. Also, it's good to know that the closer to the top of your ingredient list an ingredient is, the more there is of it in the finished product.

Parabens-

You will see these on your shampoo or lotion/cream's ingredient list as Methylparaben, Ethylparaben, Propylparaben, and the like. Parabens are a group of compounds that include an alcohol. They are mostly used as preservatives. The dangers of parabens have been outlined by scientific researchers. They are close to estrogen in their makeup. Estrogen applied externally (as in shampoo or lotion) has been linked to breast cancer. These can cause problems in a growing child's reproductive system and cause problems in men as well. And, they irritate the skin in a big way. Anyone with sensitive skin should never use products with these in them. The worst version is sodium methyl-paraben. It has been banned in Europe, yet some companies in the states still use it (one of which is known for being GOOD for the skin and clearing acne. Part of the name sounds like "newt"). Parabens also cause premature aging and skin cancer by increasing production of free radicals, which are unstable atoms that constantly rob your body of nutrients to try to make itself whole. So, free radicals are bad as well. But, those are in your environment and can be squelched with a lot of healthy antioxidants.

Mineral oil-

While mineral oil isn't necessarily bad for you, it's bad for your skin. Once on your skin, it keeps your skin from breathing and causes it to break out. It also can cause dryness if you use a product with it for a long time as your skin will become dependent upon it and then stop producing it's own oils-just like people who use lip balm all the time seem to suffer more from dry lips. It also causes premature aging as a result. Mineral oil also goes by the names liquid paraffin, paraffin wax, or petrolatum.

Dioxane-

Synthetically derived from coconut. This often contains 1,4-dioxane, which is a chemical known to the State of California and the federal government to cause cancer. Very bad stuff!

Fragrances-

There are bad fragrance oils out there, but I see them less and less. The ones you want to stay away from contain phthalates, which are chemicals used to soften plastic for industrial use-they are found in a lot of high end fragrances(it gives the scent staying power). The best way to avoid phthalates is to buy items scented with essential oils, or buy unscented products. If it just says "fragrance", you're best off to avoid it. Or buy from someone who uses phthalate-free fragrances- like me! But, they have to mention it, or you have to sometimes ask. But, most people who use them will advertise it.

Alcohols

- Ethanol, ethyl alcohol, methanol, benzyl alcohol, isopropyl alcohol and SD alcohol. Simply, they dry your skin and make you more susceptible to molds, viruses, and bacteria. And, they STING like the dickens if you put them on your legs after shaving.

Sulfates

-Sodium lauryl sulfate, which is the main one you'll see, is a detergent. It is what makes your shampoo or body wash foam up. The Journal of the American College of Toxicology has reported that this detergent breaks down the skin even if used lightly, and keeps the skin's proteins from rebuilding (the skin will not regrow properly and age prematurely, i.e. collagen is a protein). It is used around the world in clinical studies as an irritant-they actually use it for the purpose of irritation! And, just like the alcohols, it makes you more susceptible to infections (like you can get sick more often because of it.) Last, but not least, if mixed with certain chemicals it can become carcinogenic, i.e. cause cancer. These effects were found on skin, hair, and eyes. So your skin will break down, hair will fall out, and you could go blind. And, the substitutes for Sodium Lauryl Sulfate aren't much better. Sodium laureth sulfate, cocamide DEA or lauramide DEA or look for the prefix, word, or syllable PEG, polyethylene, polyethylene glycol, polyoxyethylene, eth (as in sodium laureth sulfate), or oxynol. These are "gentler detergents". But, they are often combined with our old friend 1,4-dioxane, which is known to cause cancer. Also, according to a 1998 report from the federal National Toxicology Program, two DEA-based compounds‹cocamide DEA and lauramide DEA‹ have been demonstrated to be cancer-causing in at least in one species of animal. According experts on the Cosmetic Ingredient Review (CIR) panel (established by the Cosmetic Toiletry, and Fragrance Association, a cosmetic industry trade association), both sodium lauryl sulfate and its close chemical cousin ammonium lauryl sulfate "appear to be safe in formulations designed for discontinuous, brief use followed by thorough rinsing from the surface of the skin."

Whew! That was a long one. But I want you to be informed after you read this. Armed with knowledge, and all that.

That's alot of the stuff you want to stay away from. If you see something on a label you don't recognize, Google it. It will come up somewhere-at the very least, on Wikipedia. You should at least be able to figure out if you want it in the product you're thinking of buying. And just because something is derived from natural sources doesn't mean it's safe. Now, here are ingredients you may want to look for, and I use them in my products as well.

Cocoa Butter-

Coming from the cocoa bean, this is one of the best moisturizers you will find. It readily absorbs into the skin and imparts a sheen, treats eczema and dermatitis, protects sensitive skin from the environment and keeps skin moisturized. It is naturally rich in vitamin E which helps to soothe, hydrate and balance the skin and provides the skin collagen which assists with wrinkles and other signs of aging. It can be applied straight to hair and wrapped up after a day at the beach for a few hours, wash it out-and repair all the damage you did that day. Best used for dry hair as it can be greasy or weigh hair down with other hair types.

Shea Butter-

Comes straight from the shea or karite tree from seeds inside the nuts that this tree bears. There is a particular "belt" in Africa where this tree grows wild, so therefore all shea butter starts out organic. It is quite plentiful, so there's no need to farm it. The best kind is unrefined, which means the oil is pressed from the seeds, filtered for impurities, and that's it. It is beige colored naturally and has a pleasant light scent. Benefits of this butter include: Evens skin tone & returns luster to skin & hair; Absorbs quickly without leaving greasy residue; Shea Butter moisturizes & protects skin & scalp-especially over processed & heat-treated hair; shea butter doesn't clog pores or block hair shafts; revitalizes, softens & maintains skin moisture; naturally rich in vitamins A, E & F which are some essential vitamins needed for good skin balance; penetrates deep into skin to help restore elasticity; benefits your skin by keeping it clear & smooth; shea butter benefits include soothing some scalp & skin irritations. This is a middle of the road moisturizer - it's not as greasy as cocoa butter but it offers extra moisturizing over light moisturizers containing no butters.

Avocado Oil-

Coming from one of my favorite fruits(guacamole, Mmmmm!), avocado oil is also one of my favorite oils. It's not as heavy as your run of the mill olive oil, the smell isn't as strong and fruity as olive oil, and it has wonderful moisturizing properties. It is a favorite of massage therapists, and you will find it in many a massage oil. It is full of vitamins A, B, D, E, protein, and lecithin. It is high in sterolins, which fade age spots and repair sun damage-these sterolins also are responsible for the softening and super moisturizing effects; it is excellent for rejuvinating and regeneration of skin. In a study done at the Department of Food Engineering and Biotechnology, Technion-Israel Institute of Technology in 1991, it was found that avocado oil significantly increases the amount of collagen in the skin; helps relieve the itch of psoriasis and eczema; it is easily absorbed into deep tissue; it also has anti-bacterial and anti-oxidant properties. This is one of my favorite oils, and I use it whenever I can.

Goat Milk

-The natural ingredients in goat's milk nourish and replenish the skin. Goat's milk products have been proven safe and beneficial for people with many kinds of skin problems including acne, psoriasis, rosacea, and eczema. Studies in nursing homes have shown that goat's milk soap is beneficial for the skin care for elderly people. Great for babies' skin, too! Goat's milk has many beauty benefits.

Goat's milk is high in vitamins and minerals and contains lactic acid. Lactic acid is a colorless natural substance, derived from sour milk, and non-bovine sources such as fresh goat's milk. It was discovered over 200 years ago in fermented milk. It is known that Cleopatra and other women used to bathe in sour milk to obtain beautiful skin. Benefits of Lactic Acid are: intense hydrating properties; helps with photo-aging and sun damaged skin; acts as an exfoliant to the skin, leaving it softer and rejuvenated; stimulates collagen production; acts as an antibacterial agent; acts as an astringent; is used for skin problems such as acne, impurities, oily skin, breakouts;and is used by dermatologists and surgeons in chemical peels, in higher concentrations.

I use organic goat milk since I do not have a goat farm nearby to buy it from. But, it's just as good.

Wakame Seaweed-

This is a new addition to my line, but I've been very pleased with the results when using it in masks. It is the favorite used by the Japanese people due to its health and beauty benefits-it's used in Miso soup, which I have tried and it is quite good. I use it dried and then ground to a powder mixed with honey and aloe gel as a mask, and then add a little water when ready to use it. It leaves my skin very soft and smooth. My skin even felt soft and smooth upon rising the next morning-my hubby couldn't stop stroking my face. Its benefits include its antioxidant properties as well as its nutritional value; it is a rich source of B vitamins and contains minerals like iron, sodium, potassium and calcium. Additionally the algae contains a chemical called sulfated polyfucose which is an antioxidant that shields skin from environmental pollutants that would cause the formation of free radicals. Free radicals are responsible for various forms of skin aging, including sagging and wrinkles. Wakame moisturizes, smoothes and heals. It does this by limiting hyaluronidase, a process that breaks down skin's hyaluronic acid. This acid serves to keep skin firm by acting as an adhesive, keeping collagen and elastic fibers intact. Without hyaluronic acid, skin may sag and dark circles may appear around the eyes. I honestly did not believe the claims, but upon using it just once I was a believer-I even used it under my eyes. I will be listing some Wakame Skin Smoothing Mask in early June. I have it made up, I just have to list it.

Coconut Milk-

I have been substituting coconut milk for goat milk in a bunch of my products lately so that Vegans can also enjoy them. Coconut Milk is actually the white liquid obtained from compressing fresh coconut meat-not the liquid people often drink when opening a fresh coconut, as I often did as a kid. Coconut milk contains, instead of the lactic acid found in goat milk-lauric acid. Half of the medium-chain fatty acids in coconut milk are composed of lauric acid, which is anti-viral, anti-bacterial, anti-microbial and anti-fungal. It has been confirmed by skincare experts that topical use of coconut milk can help cure some skin conditions. Coconut milk, when used with cleansers can take away dirt and oil from the skin. It creates a clean, soft, and smooth complexion. Plus, it smells nice in a plain lotion. The kind I use is just coconut milk and water, plus a natural preservative. I don't use coconut milk which contains thickeners like guar gum and the like. It also makes any soap it's used in sudse up quite a bit more, making it a great choice for use with hard water. That is why I use it in my Coconut Milk Smoothie Bath Gel.

Kokum Butter-

Kokum butter is obtained from the Indian tree Garcinia indica. It is used in skin care products because of its ability to soften skin and heal ulcerations and fissures of lips, hands and soles of feet. Kokum butter helps reduce degeneration of the skin cells and restores elasticity. Use kokum butter is soaps, balms, belly balms, foot care products and other emollient skin treatments. I don't presently use this butter, but you will see me use it in the future. Most likely as a foot balm and the like.

That is pretty much the skinny. If you ever have a question on bath and body ingredients or products, please feel free to convo me through my Etsy store, www.summerlandscrubs.etsy.com. I'm always looking into new and interesting things-I would even be willing to make you a custom product if there's a certain butter, milk, extract, or oil that you would like to try in a product. Or, if you find a recipe you'd like me to whip up for you-I can do that, too. I have quite a stash of ingredients and always like to try new things.

Come by and check out my products! Thank you for reading this little article, and thank you for posting this!

Have a great summer!

Denise Van Winkle, Owner and Soapmaker, Summerland Bath & Body

fun for the whole family

2009-05-23T22:18:00.004-05:00

i was given a couch yesterday. it's one of those fantastic couches with removable cushions. my kids have never had one like this before. so, of course, i taught them how to make forts.they liked it. a lot.

this week has been really hard. i took too many hours at work, was swamped with schoolwork, and didn't do anything fun at all. the work was shitty (pun intended, see previous post) the homework was tedious and uninteresting, and i was really lonely.
and yet i've been much happier this week, with all its suckiness, than i was before i moved to my new house. the realization that even a really bad week can't drain my joy at being here, being independent, was huge confirmation that i've done the right thing. i know that things will get better as i improve at managing my time and learn to say no to shifts. I'm told that this is the hardest part, and if this is the worst it gets i'm just fine. i'm laughing.

underpaid

2009-05-21T10:22:00.003-05:00

i intended to blog last night, but instead when i got home from work i went straight past the computer, put every stitch of clothing i was wearing in the laundry, and had a painfully hot bath.

let me tell you about my evening.

i work for an agency that staffs the homes of people with intellectual disabilities. they frequently have other disabilities, too. the agency keeps sending me into homes that i haven't been trained in, where i can sink or swim. i'm not a huge fan of that practice.

last night i was in a home i'd never been in. two elderly, deaf women lived there. during dinner, loud, ominous noises came from one woman's rear end. scary noises. later i got to see the result of the noises. all over the bathroom floor. the linen closet was devoid of towels and there were only four squares of paper towel to be found in the whole house. on top of that, i couldn't find the surgical gloves. and this was a serious puddle. the light brown fluid had spread out all over the floor. i was barefoot and it soaked into the crevices in between my toes. the bottoms of my pants wicked it up. as i cleaned it up (with my bare hands) the cuff of my shirt dipped into it. i was a human shit sponge.

as i was cleaning the woman was sitting in a bath, theoretically to get clean. the water was brown with stuff floating in it. she couldn't stand in order to shower, so this was the best we could do. freaking gross. when she was ready to get out i rushed all over the house, searching for a towel. nope. she waited in the tub while i looked, screaming at me that she was getting cold, and what's the holdup?

i eventually found a towel. they were in a closed cardboard box in the back of a closet.

seriously, folks. i am very, very underpaid.

the plant speaks

2009-05-18T20:08:00.004-05:00

i was just talking with one of my tomato plants, and i thought i'd transcribe the conversation for you here. the plant, of course, is called tom.tom: please let me go outside.
me: no.
tom: but look out there! things are green! and i'm big and need to live out there!
me: not until this shitty weather ends.
tom: but i love shit! i thrive in shit, literally!
me: that was a poor choice of words, sorry. you can't go outside until the unseasonably cold weather ends. i don't want you to get snowed on.
tom: *grunts sadly*

seriously. we had snow last friday. tonight it's going down to freezing. tuesday, wednesday and thursday nights it will get below freezing. what the hell is this?
this past weekend was may long, here on the canadian prairie. it's typically the weekend when every gardener is out there planting and watering and trimming and generally getting gleeful over the coming summer. but not this weekend. i didn't see anyone working in their yards when i was out on sunday. it's unnatural. it sucks. i don't like it.but tom doesn't like it even more than me.

a dork in love

2009-05-17T23:42:00.004-05:00

i'm not into science. believe me, it's at the bottom of my list of interests, generally. i'm not particularly fascinated by genetics. or old japanese men. or german monks, especially ones that have been dead for 125 years. and normally gardeners don't give me the hots, although i'm sure there are exceptions.

so why do i have crushes on these men?

this is david suzuki. every canadian knows of him, most revere him. he's an environmental activist. also a geneticist. and he likes gardens a great deal.
and this is gregor mendel. 'the father of genetics'. he's known for fiddling around in the gardens in the abbey where he was a monk, figuring out the natural laws that govern trait inheritance. so what's with this? is it the glasses? the thin lips? the appearance of intelligence, kindness and serious hotness?

don't tell anyone, ok? i don't want to be known as that chick with the thing for geneticists who garden. although i might be. but shush.

pardon me while i uncross my eyes

2009-05-16T19:58:00.003-05:00

did you know that human physical characteristics, as those of other organisms, are predominantly determined by the protein composition of body cells and tissues and enzymes and other secretions that they produce? or that if we consider all 23 chromosome pairs and the further complications of recombination during meiosis, we can predict that one individual can generate thousands of different combinations?

i didn't.

did you care?

i don't.

i remember liking the elegant logic of mendel and his peas when i was in high school. crossbreeding green and yellow peas, seeing what colour their offspring would be - it was straightforward and, to my mind, interesting. but protein synthesis, alleles, amino acids? no thanks. ugh.

the kicker is that this is all for my anthropology class. physical anthropology, though. i don't get to take cultural anthro until i finish this class. it's like the university is trying to scare people away from an interesting subject by making the intro class as tedious as possible. i'd much rather be flipping through old national geographics, looking for saggy-breasted women to make collages with. i'll do that another semester, i guess.

tonight i'll read another chapter from that godawful text, tomorrow after work i'll read one more then write a paper on all of it while it's still fresh in my mind. then i need to read two chapters from my counselling text (less dry, but very repetitive) and write something on them. it's a good thing that i have no work or kids on monday. i guess.

geez.

back on the bandwagon

2009-05-15T17:12:00.006-05:00

for almost two months i've cruelly neglected this blog. i'm sorry. i'll try not to do it again.

the blog isn't the only thing that's been languishing in the bitter winter of my inattention. apparently blogging, picturetaking and knitting are linked in my life. i know this now because i haven't done any in any signifigant way since early april. before i was knitting a pair of socks a month, taking a zillion pictures and blogging almost daily. these days i've been doing schoolwork, earning a living, keeping up with housework, reading, walking, lots of stuff, but no knitting, photography or blogging. is it too late to start again? can you forgive me?

i hope not.

so anyways, i made this sock in april:and since its completion at the end of april i've knit about two inches of its pair. i suck. but the sock (a modification of the nutkin pattern) is slow, painful knitting. it looks cool, but is not worth it. and i feel that this design would look better as fingerless gloves, with a longish arm part. i may make that one day.and i don't like the yarn as much in sock form as in skein form. alas. it just sort of looks like a messy pile of colours here, instead of something beautiful and subtle.

this is my front door, as seen from inside the house. can you see it? i noticed the other night that the words 'men's toilet' are on the door, but painted over. my jiffy markers and i are renewing the letters. i do one letter for every chapter of my text that i read and write notes on. it's slow going, but filling in the letters is actually a good break from the mental strain of memorizing page after page of dry information. i'm hoping to have all of the 'men's' filled in by bedtime. we'll see, since the kids are getting ornery from all the inattention they've recieved today. i might need to actually aknowledge them and, you know, feed them or something, at some point. sooner or later.

i'll try to blog again tomorrow.

quickie

2009-05-06T19:42:00.003-05:00

hey, just stopping in to say hi. i just finished writing 15 pages of homework for one of my classes so my brain is fried. i'm going to go home and not think at all until tomorrow.

things are going well. i officially have two jobs now, although neither is giving me any hours at the moment. i'm told that will change soon. my tomato seedlings are gearing up to go in the ground, school is fine, and tonight i'm going to make fried rice for my dinner. tomorrow i hope to buy a laptop, but it depends. i keep emailing and calling about laptops i find for sale online and things keep not working out. yesterday i spent ages waiting around a burger joint for a guy to show up, and he never did. as we waited my kids ate their weight in fries. i've learned that trying to get an affordable used laptop with two little kids in tow, riding the bus, sucks. seriously. ugh. but eventually i'll have one and i'll be able to start blogging again.

anyways, internet, i love you and miss you like crazy. i hope to see you again soon.

movie review: lars and the real girl

2009-04-24T10:43:00.004-05:00

this is the story of lars. he's a sweet, reclusive man who lives in his brother's garage and does whatever it takes to avoid human interaction. he develops a delusion wherein he believes that his new 'real girl' doll, a life-sized, highly detailed sex doll, is an actual person. his brother and sister in law freak right out, unsurprisingly, but the witty, wise, beautiful family doctor/ shrink (!?!?!?) tells them to play along with it. lars brings his 'girlfriend' to church, an office party, his childhood haunts, etc.

most of the acting is excellent (although bianca, lars' 'girlfriend' is a little stiff.... *giggle* *snort*) the setting is perfect and the story is both sweet and interesting.

i do, however, have a couple of problems with the film.

it's the job of filmmakers to construct a scenario and the job of an audience to believe it's real. when the filmmakers do their job right (the truman show or et, for example) the audience easily believes a fairly ridiculous situation to be real. it's called suspension of disbelief. i had a hard time suspending my disbelief while watching this film. the people are too good. a gentle, lonely man goes crazy and carries an anatomically correct, well endowed doll around with him, talking to him. everyone he encounters looks at him askance for about three seconds and then plunges headlong into pretending it's normal. a whole midwestern small town cheerfully goes along with the ruse, even forming emotional attachments to the inanimate object. if just a few people had persisted in finding the whole thing ludicrous the movie would have worked for me. but a whole town commiting to helping out a man with a mental problem? the stereotype sticks in my throat. the actors may as well have worn placards that said 'this is a small town in the midwest and 'round here we support each other and stick together, goll'durn it!'

my other issue is the way the movie repeatedly opens potentially interesting cans of worms and then abandons them. lars' horror of physical contact, his terror when confronted with the idea of childbirth, his desire for a rite of passage, his relationships with his brother, sister in law, doctor and the cute girl at work... i understand that there isn't time in the movie to really delve into multiple complex subjects, but rushing past all these topics was annoying and frustrating.

all in all, this movie was ok. it had huge potential and failed to live up to it, but it wasn't terrible.

book review: fool

2009-04-24T10:32:00.003-05:00

forgive the lack of links, i'm posting from the library where i can only have one window open at a time, and the internet is slower than a slug in molasses. ugh

i'm a longtime christopher moore fan, but his last few books have caused my faith in him to falter. fool, moore's interpretation of shakespeare's king lear, follows in the unfortunate recent tradition of mediocre books. you suck and a dirty job were
sort of funny, i guess. fool isn't as funny as them. it's not that moore isn't trying. he is obviously trying very, very hard. he just seems to have lost the spark
that made coyote blue, fluke and lamb three of my favourite books, both in terms
of hilarity and interesting treatment of an interesting subject.

when writing fool christopher mooreseems to have reverted to his 13 year old self. in a random sampling of 5 pages (16, 63, 98, 150, 199) i found:
sexual/ bodily function jokes/ mentions: 13
religion jokes: 2
other jokes (mostly monty python-type humour) : 4
3/4 of these were jokes were in the first two pages. even the author, it seems, got tired of the juvenile humour.

shakespeare's king lear is complicated enough without a bunch of 'funny' extra scenes and scenarios added in. the book is a confusing mishmash of historical periods, shakespeare quotes, (from his collected works, not just lear) comedic embellishments and added plot twists for the sake of added plot twists.

while reading fool i probably chuckled aloud five or six times, a pitifully small amount considering the book is 311 pages long. i had been hoping that this would be the book where christopher moore shook off his current slump and resumed his former brilliance, but alas, no. please try again, mr. moore.

book review: house rules

2009-04-23T12:25:00.003-05:00

house rules by rachel sontag is a phenomenon. it's the autobiography of a young woman. more specifically, it's a memoir focused on sontag's family relationships.
one could say that this is yet another voice from the world of white, middle class girls claiming hurt because daddy didn't understand them and never really loved them. however, that would be neither accurate nor fair. yes, many parts of this tale fit the cliches, but the author's father was exceptionally cruel and controlling. her mother was exceptionally self-deluded and impotent. most importantly, the author herself is exceptionally skilled as a writer. her story is told as simply as possible, given the complex nature of familial relationships. i highly recommend this insightful, truthful, beautiful and heartbreaking book.

book review: oryx and crake

2009-04-23T12:15:00.002-05:00

last night on the airplane i finished reading oryx and crake by margaret atwood. i was sad to see it end.

margaret atwood is a blatantly brilliant canadian author. her the handmaid's tale is her most famous book, but she has written a veritable library. her work is usually dark and visionary. oryx and crake is no exception.

i believe that atwood was trying to write a book that would belong on the shelf next to brave new world and 1984 when she wrote oryx and crake. her book shares their tone and vision, but her book is not quite as chilling as the others. on the other hand, i found oryx and crake to be more readable, with better characters. i'm actually quite torn when it comes to deciding if oryx & crake is on par with the other two books or if it falls slightly short. i couldn't tell you. you should read it yourself and let me know.

good news and bad news

2009-04-07T17:18:00.003-05:00

the good:
i got a job! maybe two, we'll see. and school is great. and i love my new house.
the bad:
my laptop died a sudden death. so no internet at home or when i'm out and about. just stupidass library internet. and no using my laptop to play movies and music, keep track of my schedule, play games, read books or file my recipes. i'm really, really lost.
the good:
i get my tax return soon, so i will have a new laptop within a month.
the bad:
a MONTH?!?!!? are you kidding me? what deity did i offend.
the good:
i have a job! maybe two, we'll see. and school is great. and i love my new house.

so anyways, don't expect much from this blog in the next little while. definitely don't expect pictures. i think i'll take up cleaning my house obsessively to fill the void left by the computer's unfortunate demise. that will be me over there with the rubber gloves and toothbrush, scrubbing the grout for the eighth time today. harrumph.

first night

2009-04-05T09:52:00.004-05:00

the evening after i moved i worked and worked and worked, getting almost everything unpacked and set up. there are still things to do, like procuring wall art and a microwave, but i'm happy with things, so far.

after i'd gotten completley worn out unpacking, i made tea and sat in this chairwith tea, knitting, and a good friend nearby. with so many sore muscles it was just perfect. (by the way, i'm making a modified version of nutkin socks in lorna's laces sock yarn)
then i fell into bed and slept and slept and slept. in the morning i looked up, saw that everything was well with the world, and went back to sleep.

moving in

2009-04-03T11:13:00.003-05:00

my new house is spacious and full of light. hardwood floors, lots of windows, colourful walls, big rooms. also some small rooms, but enough big ones that the place feels like a palace. to the left is the dining room, to the right is the sunroom. the fireplace is decorative only, but it's brick. the built in shelves are the fanciest ones in the place, but there are actually lots of areas with them. the windows are old school, as is the trim. the whole place has a comfortable, funky feel to it. there's an eat-in kitchen, making this spacious dining room extraneous. not that i'm complaining. on the far right you can see the desk in the sun room. my plants will be in heaven.

so, overall, i approve of my new accomodations.

some news

2009-03-31T21:52:00.004-05:00

tomorrow i start school. you didn't know i applied to school? that's because i didn't tell you. fear of rejection and all that. (rejection from the school, not you readers. i know you'd stick with me through thick & thin)

anyways, i'm beginning a social work program, to be finished in the next five years. hopefully less. i don't actually want to be a babysnatcher or anything like that, but a few jobs i've seen that appealed to me in the past while have required a bsw, so maybe i should get one. the alternative is continuing to be unable to get a good job and so wasting my life at jobs that bore and underpay me. i'm thrilled to finally be moving on with my life instead of remaining an unhappy housewife.

speaking of moving on, i'm relocating on thursday. i will take up residence in a nice little place not far from here. it has a fantastic south-facing sunroom, it's near a park and a library, and no metal music will be played on the premises. yes, you read that right, my partner is not accompanying me on the move. but the kids are, half-time. more on that another day.

i'm also desperately looking for a job.

and the new place won't have internet. not for the first month, anyways.

so between the kids, school, (hopefully) work, and adapting to living on my own after spending a quarter of my life with my partner, i don't think i'll be blogging daily. i'll shoot for weekly. but you'll get to see how i transform an already beautiful space into a beautiful living space that is mine. fascinating, non?

so anyways, i'll be in touch.

toodle-oo.

musings of an english nerd

2009-03-30T22:51:00.005-05:00

i was running all over town today, waiting in lines and waiting areas and at bus stops, and i had a lot of time to think.

sometimes that's a bad thing.

so..... the word 'duped'. it means 'fooled', right? between the way it looks and the meaning, i assume that it's derived from 'duplicity', meaning trickiness and dishonesty. but 'duped' seems like it was once short for something. what would the word for someone who has been the victim of a duplicitous person be? duplicitousified? duplicitiated?

as ever, i went to the internet for a resolution to my query.

this is what wikipedia has to say about the word duped.

more helpfully, the online etymology dictionary sez:

dupe (n.): 1681, from Fr. dupe "deceived person," from M.Fr. duppe (1426), thieves' jargon, probably from phrase de huppe "of the hoopoe," an extravagantly crested and reputedly stupid bird. Bird name is from L. upupa, imitative of its cry. The verb is from 1704.

dang, i gues i'm not always right. who knew?

and now, because this post isn't dorky enough, an assortment of english related x kcd comics.

my wishes re: reincarnation

2009-03-27T21:00:00.004-05:00

i am trying to be very, very good in this life so in my next life i will be reincarnated as a well-cared for housecat.i will wallow in the sun.a lot.

sockly love

2009-03-27T20:53:00.006-05:00

my boy hears that i love him at least a hundred times a day. he can't walk past me, or even be in the same room as me, without me swinging him into my arms and squeezing him half to death while kissing him all over and/ or threatening to eat him. there comes a point, though, where the same thing repeated enough times becomes meaningless. and so i made him socks.you probably already know this, (daffodylic, megan and llama all do) but a handknit socks are actually hugs. long, warm, cozy hugs that wrap around your feet and you can wear all day and then to bed.

^this is a picture of me hugging my son.^

first green!

2009-03-27T20:41:00.004-05:00

by the time march rolls around i simply feel dead inside. too long trapped inside, too long since i've seen the sun. but the day i start my seeds i start to feel a little more hopeful. the day i see the first green in my plant pots the clouds obscuring my soul roll back and all becomes well in the world.the first green was today.hallelujah!

planned childbirth

2009-03-25T20:47:00.005-05:00

don't bother trying to call me tomorrow, and don't look for me online, i'm going to be in labour.

'what?' you say, 'you're pregnant? i had no idea!'

'well, i'm not. i haven't been in a while, and i probably won't be ever again' i reply.

'but you said you're going to be in labour tomorrow. you mean labour as in childbirth, right?' you ask, confusion dancing across your features

'that's right. i'll have midwives in attendance, checking my vitals, even'

at this point i quit being so mysterious and explain myself.

'you see, dear reader, i'm helping my midwife-friend out. she's leading a workshop tomorrow for her fellow midwives, demonstrating some sort of midwifey technique thing. and she needs someone to demonstrate on. i'll get to expose my well-hidden thespian side and spend the day giving birth. how's that for random?'

'oh, yes,' you agree, nodding vigorously 'that is very random indeed'

unimpressed.

2009-03-24T21:46:00.003-05:00

this morning i woke up to this:stinkin dirty rotten filthy snow. spring was supposed to be coming. what the hell?

i've been job hunting, mostly coming up empty. it's disheartening and discouraging and depressing and lots of other words that start with d. today, out of the blue, a former employer called me up and offered me a job. four twelve hour shifts a week, sleeping. with benefits, a pension plan, holiday pay... i would get paid to sleep. seriously, paid to sleep. the money is crap, but enough. especially considering the type of work i'd be doing. which is, by the way, sleeping.

i had to turn it down since the hours conflict with my partner's work schedule.

excuse me while i go sob in the bathroom some more.

paid. to sleep.

money well spent

2009-03-23T19:16:00.005-05:00

i have the world's best thrift store a few blocks away, and i visit it as often as i can. if they had customer loyalty points i'd be set. anyways, today i scored in a phenomenal way.see? even batman* likes it. i like it, too. knitting in a chair with no arms is marvelous. plus it looks funky.it's like winning the lottery, getting a vintage armless armchair for 15$. surely the sweetest deal, ever. i also got a more traditional armchair for another 15$, and they're both incredibly comfortable.

*not relevant to this post, but in the picture and potentially making you scratch your head in bewilderment: my kids use rolled up, taped together flyers as light sabers. i don't allow toy weapons in the house, but i can't forbid everything that can be used as a weapon. flyers are free and don't hurt when they fight with them, so i can live with that. but i think i'm one of the only people whose kids get all giddy on flyer day.

frigging awesome

2009-03-22T22:40:00.005-05:00

my friend is getting married in a month, and i'm a bridesmaid. we have a lot of shared history (25 years, ish) and i love her to pieces, but we have nothing in common. my friend has a trendy townhouse, an important job, a successful fiancee, and is well off. she's stylish, classy, socially appropriate... like i said, we really have nothing in common.
so what the hell does someone like me give someone like her for a wedding present? i'm not actually able to get anything fancy, and she already has everything.
so, of course, i went to ravelry to solve my problem.
ravelry has a lot of patterns, but most don't scream 'classy and modern!'. even if a pattern did, i'd have to opt for the pattern that whispered it, instead, and i couldn't find any of those.
finally, i found this: a mobius shrug. with less texture (and no vile moss stitch) a more urban colour, and some mohair, it could be just the thing.
i wanted it to be charcoal, but i coudn't find the right yarn. in the clearance section, though, there was estelle watercolours (acrylic & mohair) in a creamy colour. don't tell my friend, but her present is costing me less than 2$. i grabbed my biggest needles, cast on an arbitrary number of stitches, and i was in business. it has very nice drape, a lovely luster and a subtle shimmer. my plan i to knit it like a scarf until it drapes comfortably around the shoulders, twist it once, and sew the ends together as invisibly as possible.
the result should be elegant, warm, and soft. if not, my credit card and i will be making an emergency shopping trip.

spring equinox

2009-03-21T00:06:00.006-05:00

what more auspicious day for starting seeds could there be than the spring equinox? and who better could there be to do it with than my little guy?
he's so great. he took it all so seriously. he held his breath and bit his lower lip while he poked holes in the soil for the seeds. he was so, so careful to get the seeds in the right spots. when i watered the tray he kept warning me against overwatering and pointing out the plants that didn't get enough.

my young padwan has done well.

on your left are three types of tomato (bison, early annie and german strawberry) and on your right are four types of pepper (cayenne, siberian home, hungarian hot and yellow & purple bell) there are two seeds in seperate spots in each container, and the one that grows the fastest & biggest will be the one that i don't uproot and chuck as soon as there looks like there's any competition for light or root space. the tray now has a clear plastic dome and is occupying a sunny window where the kids can't reach.

spring is officially here and i can feel it - there are seeds germinating!

seed pot tutorial #2

2009-03-19T13:38:00.006-05:00

tomorrow is spring equinox, the day i have chosen to start my seeds. in preparation for this auspicious occasion i'm finishing up making my seed pots. i promised here to do a tutorial on origami seed pots, and i am a girl of my word, so here you are.

1. go to this site and follow the directions until you get to this picture:then stop. don't do what that picture indicates. instead,

2. fold the paper in thirds, first one way
3. and then the other

4. so when you open it up the way it says to here:it looks more like this:

then follow the directions on the site to the end. you should end up with this.
it's only a very minor modification, but it makes a big difference as far as the usefulness of the end product. remember: fold in thirds, not halves.

happy folding!

cheating

2009-03-18T22:17:00.002-05:00

i would blog, i really would, but i'm busy playing bejeweled blitz on facebook. it's sucked me in and i can't quit until my score tops 150 000. (i'm currently at 128 600) it's not optional, folks.in my absence, watch this. i really love it. i don't think i've ever seen anything quite like it, and truly original music videos are few & far between, wouldn't you say?

and one last goodie, to assuage my guilt over the blog neglect.

done!

2009-03-17T20:36:00.004-05:00

my bff socks for daffodylic are finally done, and i am very pleased. look!
i mailed them off today. enjoy, friend.next up: a shrug for my friend's wedding and socks for my little boy, since he's already outgrown the ones i made him for xmas.

yarn joy

2009-03-15T21:36:00.003-05:00

the other evening things were dreary and grey. my partner was taking the kid out, leaving the baby and i home to enjoy the marvelous joys of doing taxes. the baby was weepy and clingy, i had a headache... it was not the best moment of my life.
i was settling down in front of the computer, coffee in hand, whiny baby being ignored, when i heard a weird thump at the door. i looked out the window and saw a postal worker heading back to a canada post truck... do postal people deliver stuff at 7 pm? apparently so. or some divine spirit knew i needed some day-brightening and moved a spiritually aware package deliveryperson to bring me some goodness. either way, i was mightily surprised and pleased.

inside the screen door i found a plump, cheerful package that looked mightily pleased with itself. i was mightily pleased with it, too. pleased turned to ecstatic when i opened it...oh my dear lord.

allergen-free 'granola' bars for my son
lace-weight merino yarn in a stunning colourway
packaged in a yarn bag

a yarn bag, i discovered as i read the tag, is a waterproof bag for holding a skein or two of yarn, for knitting on the go. if my thermos dumps itself in my backpack, if i set my bag down in a puddle, if the river overflows its banks and i'm chest-deep in water, i don't need to fret. my yarn is dry, secure, and in a stylin' bag.

the yarnis very, very soft. and pretty. i've never knit with lace-weight yarn and i have no idea what to make with it, but yarn doesn't go bad, so when the perfect idea arrives i'll be ready, pretty yarn in hand.

i don't have anything to say about the granola bars yet, since i'm saving them for the next outing i take my son on. there's nothing like an exciting new treat to bribe him into sitting still on the bus.

so thank you, yarnfloozies, for making tax night ten zillion times better.

book review: the mercy rule

2009-03-14T09:21:00.004-05:00

the mercy rule by perri klass is a great book. it's written in the most straightforward prose i've ever had the pleasure of reading. the book handles many sensitive topics with unsentimental truth and blatant elegance.

the protagonist, lucy, is a suburban mom of two. married, working, taking her kids to soccer practice and birthday parties. dr. lucy weiss is a pediatrician specializing in at-risk and foster children, and a nationally recognized authority on the subject. she is also a former foster child, herself. the book centres around two main subjects: lucy's complex relationship with her complex daughter, isabel, and her efforts to balance her difficult, often wrenching work and her home life.

there's a fine balance between being an evil babysnatcher, removing kids from bad homes to put them in worse ones, and being a rescuer of children at risk, removing them to safety. i once had a job where i had to make that call occasionally, and it is brutal. the home life is bad, but is it so bad that it warrants removal? at what point is the line crossed that necessitates breaking up a family? it's a hard, hard choice, and perri klass does an excellent job of articulating just how excruciating it is.

isabel and lucy are, like many mother-daughter pairs, both stunningly similar and amazingly different. their relationship is fraught with misunderstandings, but also has nuggets of harmony. it's complicated, painful, wonderful, and incredibly real. this relationship is so well developed it's almost like another main character. also beautiful is the way isabel, a pre-teen, isn't another faceless stereotyped young girl. she's got a fully formed personality, and she is an amazing, talented, messed up, neurotic kid, just like the ones you'll meet in real life. the depiction of isabel is hands-down the best character development of a minor i've read this decade. if for nothing else, read the mercy rule to see how well the author creates the characters of isabel and lucy.

i don't know if this book was better than the groom to have been, but it's at least on par. it is therefore now tied for best book of the year.

this bathroom is brought to you by etsy.com

2009-03-10T14:57:00.005-05:00

today my soap dish arrived, and i love it. i spent enough time in the bathroom, admiring how it adds colour and interest to the sink, that my kids started banging on the bathroom door and yelling for me. in other words, about 15 seconds. i hope to spend longer admiring it after my babies go to bed tonight. this beautiful item was purchased here.

i had been using body shop facial cream and it was ok, but i don't like body shop ethics. naturally, i went to etsy when i saw that it was time to replace my cream.

my search led me to summerland scrubs, where sample-sized jars of goat milk and cocoa butter souffle cream are less than 2$. i was surprised and delighted to see that the 'sample' contained almost as much as the body shop jar (1 oz vs 1.7 oz, if the body shop charged as much per ounce as summerland scrubs i would have paid about 3$ for my old jar)

the moisturizer itself is light, with the texture of chocolate mousse. a tiny bit goes a long way. it rubs in really well without residue. the body shop stuff left a residue. it was gross.

i'm not wild about the 'chocolate fudge' scent, it reminds me of chocolate skittles (bleugh!) in that it's a fake chocolate scent. sort of like how grape flavouring smells nothing like grapes. i'm not discouraged, though. i'll happily use up this cream and next time try another of her fantastic-sounding scents. maybe lemon cilantro.

the final way that my new cream kicks my old cream's ass is the ingredients list. the etsy stuff has about 1/4 as many ingredients as the body shop cream, and i can pronounce all of them. most of them i could find at the health food store. the body shop cream has the usual mile-long list of scary-sounding ingredients.

overall i give the summerland scrubs goat milk and cocoa butter souffle cream an enthusiastic two thumbs up and the body shop soy & calendula daily moisturizing cream a distasteful shrug.

the final etsy-based product i plan to review today is my bag of cocoa butter bath melts from bubbles n suds. these fizzy little bombs of joy are tiny - just look how shrimpy that one looks next to the huge, hulking lush bath bomb - but it's exactly as big as it needs to be. instead of being mostly fillers and air, these melts are dense and intense. it fizzed hard, and when it was done the bathroom smelled like a belgian chocolate factory and my skin was coated in delicious cocoa butter. all the patches of dry skin that had been forming on my body disappeared that day. i'm officially converted, and there's no going back.

to make things even better, a typical lush bath bomb costs ~6$. these delicious little treats are 6.50$ for 6. instead of a moisturizing bath being an expensive extravagance it can be an ordinary luxury.

seriously, these are the shizznit. buy them, and if you don't like them, send them to me. and when you're buying some, check out the lego shaped soap, the fight club soap, and all the other cool stuff to be found at the bubbles n suds soap company.

disappointment is...

2009-03-08T16:43:00.004-05:00

when i was a kid, when there was something i really wanted that was beyond my allowance (fifty cents a week until i was in my teens, then two dollars a week. but in a small town there isn't much to buy) i was told to go roll the coins in the change bucket. my efforts generally rewarded me with enough rolled small change to buy whatever lego set or scrunchie had caught my eye.

i've been quietly yearning for a magical windfall that would enable me to go to my friend's wedding this spring. trips to florida aren't cheap, though, and even if i had the money i'd need a passport, which i don't have. disregarding those irritating details, i decided to go begging from my sugar daddy of yore - the penny jar.two canadian dollars. 1.55 american dollars. i don't think i'll be visiting the sunshine state this year.

although the coppers and browns in the penny rolls are really pretty. can someone find me a sock yarn in those colours? pretty, penny-coloured socks might soothe my aching soul.

more kid art cuteness

2009-03-07T14:42:00.003-06:00

this afternoon my son (who is 3) took the camera and tried it out. out of 142 images about 15 weren't too blurry or dark, and these are the best five.
i promise that tomorrow won't be about my kid's artistic endeavors. thanks for bearing with me.

pure silliness

2009-03-06T13:06:00.003-06:00

the front

the inside

my boy has been really into making cards for people lately. he's very specific about what he wants the picture to be, what he wants the inside to say, and who the card is for. this card was created while i napped today, and when i got up the little guy said told me that 'da big bug is scairting the persons in the building'.

who would have guessed that a giant, villainous bug would melt my heart? i must be getting sappy in my old age.

four good things

2009-03-05T21:56:00.005-06:00

i've been in a funk for a few days, so i am going to list some of the things in my life that are good.

1. last night i did a short session with a yoga dvd before bed, and it was wonderful. each of the dozen or so times that the babes woke me up i noticed how good my spine felt. when i'm done this post i'll do another session, and have another happy-spine night.

2. i won a contest! see? i think the prize is yarn, but i won't know for sure until i get an exciting surprise in the mail. the blog that hosted the contest is worth checking out, it's a collaborative effort with lots of good cat and knitting pictures.

3. my bff socks are practically knitting themselves. i've already started the second one, and the first looks fantastic. see? the yarn is very nice, the pattern gives me shivers, the knitting is supremely enjoyable, the end product is excellent. i'm not going to want to give these up when i finish them. i will, though, because no matter how nice the socks are, daffodylic is nicer and i want her feet to be clad in my love.

4. i drink fantastic coffee. really good coffee can make even the shittiest type of day quite a bit better.

so here's to coffee, friends, socks, knitting, contests, yarn, blogs, yoga and supple spines!

cheers!

seed pot tutorial # 1

2009-03-04T17:35:00.004-06:00

in honour of the temperature being all the way up near freezing today (and so balmy and summerlike, compared to the -30 and colder that i've gotten used to over the past four months) i will show you one of the ways i make my seed pots.
i'm not into paying for peat pots that destroy the planet. instead, i save my toilet paper rolls and paper bags for a while and make my pots out of them. that way i'm reducing, reusing, and upcycling. see how green i am?

this tutorial is for the very simplest possible seed pot. let me demonstrate.
did you catch that? because it's the whole thing. i'll write it out.

cut a toilet paper roll in half. (if you want a nice collar to protect your tomatoes from the horrors of cutworm, leave the roll whole but only fill it 1/2 or 2/3 with soil)
cut a strip of newspaper or paper bag (i prefer the paper bag, it's sturdier) that's long enough to wrap around the length of the roll and then some, and wide enough to cover the circle of the roll.
place the roll in the middle of the strip and pull the paper up to the top and tuck the ends into the roll
fill with soil. the soil will hold the paper in place.

next you put the pot in some sort of tray under a good window, plant your seeds, and let them grow.

you'll need to support the bottom of the pot when you move it, since the paper is going to slowly rot and become even more prone to tearing. but that's the idea, since you want the pot to biodegrade as the plant grows, once you transplant it outside.

if when you plant your pot in the soil, if you're nervous about the roll not decaying quickly enough, you can slide it out of the ground, leaving the plant behind. i don't think it's an issue, though, since the pot is so short that roots easily spread out below it.

my other method of making seed pots involves folding origami boxes. i've slightly modified the basic box design that you can find anywhere. (the regular plan makes a wide, low box, and i prefer something cube-ish)

if there is interest i can post a tutorial on the origami pots. is there interest?

person review: beckie

2009-03-03T23:49:00.005-06:00

this evening i went for cake with my friend beckie. on the ride home she told me i should blog about it, so here i am.

we ate:

hazlenut meringue

hazelnut buttercream, whipped cream, hazelnutty meringue... it was like sitting in front of a crackling fire with brilliant, sympathetic friends and the stars glimmering above, but in my mouth. sweet but not saccharine, light but not dry, tasty but not overwhelming.

we knit and talked and looked around and talked and ate and talked and knit some more and talked. we talked about our lives, sex, the cute, mohawked server's excellent ass, our families, knitting, sex, that guy over there with the beautiful, expressive face, the cake, sex, the couples cuddling at almost every table, her work, that guy over there, sex...

the company trumped the cake, easily.

unsurprisingly, an evening spent with an old friend with whom inhibitions and reservations have long ago been shed is wonderful. old friendships fit sweatpants. i love sitting and knitting with a woman who agrees with me that the man over by the wall has perfect arms.
bek gets ten out of ten for proving definitively that friendship is the best thing going.(sorry for the sappy post, but i'm all blissed out right now. i'll be all witty and clever another day.)

nasal revelations

2009-03-01T12:20:00.005-06:00

yesterday i visited a clinic to see about some recurring, extreme nosebleeds i'd been having, and i learned a few things.

it is a surreal experience to have two strangers looking up and inserting objects into my nose.
getting one's nostril cauterized without anesthetic is freaking painful.
i have a crooked nose.

it is item #3 that this post is concerned about.

i had no idea! my partner tells me that it's always been crooked and he just assumed that i knew. the doctor told me that my deviated septum (as a crooked nose is called in the medical community) is caused by a serious blow to the face, resulting in a broken nose. but i've never broken my nose. have i? could i have broken it and not noticed?

i called my dad. he was as surprised as i to hear that my nose is crooked and was once broken. we reviewed my youthful facial injuries together, and came up with nothing. the only serious blow my face has ever sustained was to my eyebrow.

how the hell does a person break her nose without noticing? wikipedia says it could have happened as i descended the birth canal, but how does a person go through life with a noticeably crooked nose without noticing? here, take a look.

head-on. notice how the nose points to your left?
with my head turned, so my nose is symmetrical. you can see from my glasses frame that my head is turned quite a bit.

ok, so i'm not owen wilson, but the fact that i survived my self-obsessed adolescence without noticing a crooked nose is astounding. am i utterly deluded and have no idea how i actually look? am i so utterly unselfconscious that i never bothered to look? i don't think that's it. i spent as much time obsessing into the mirror as any other teenager.

i'm making up for it now. brushing my teeth last night was bizarre. this huge, crooked schnoz stared me down. i had to go finish cleaning my teeth in the kitchen. it's become overwhelmingly obvious, taking over my whole face. i prefer not to look up when i'm washing my hands.

what next, do i have some tattoos on my hands that i've never noticed and don't remember getting? will additional kids i've birthed and raised without realizing it start popping up?

knitting, knittting and knitting.

2009-02-28T16:24:00.006-06:00

yesterday's post was written in a respite between torrential nosebleeds. those nosebleeds led to me spending most of today in a clinic waiting room, knitting. eventually the doctor cauterized my nose, (!!!!!) but not before i got a good lot of sock knitting done. i hope daffodylic likes them.

three of my friends are pregnant. i'm surrounded by fetally attractive women. i only have a handful of friends, so this is practically a mathematical impossibility, but there you have it. so i have some planning to do. these friends tend towards yarn snobbishness, but i think when the baby is puking on everything and my friends haven't slept, showered or eaten in days, they'll be ok with machine washable baby clothes.
i have a baby sweater made in moda dea's tweedle dee, and it's soft and pretty. you can't tell by looking that it's not natural fibres, and only a true yarn snob could tell by touching.
i'm also looking at sirdar's snuggly dk. it's soft, springy and washable. not gently shorn from baby alpacas hand raised by children in the andes, but i'm hoping my friends can overlook that. if the pattern is cute enough, they might. here are the patterns i'm considering:

this raglan sweater would be easy to add a graphic to the front of. i'm thinking a skull or something. newborns never wear enough skulls, you know?

this dress is so sweet. i want to make it so i can look at it and bemoan the fact that i have no daughter. i would not sully this design with skulls or silliness. it's too nice for that.

finally, this hoodie has a cool texture that would really show off a more interesting yarn.
the miles of seed stitch might kill me, but if i survived i could embroider flowers or a little truck or something on it.

so, preggos and non-preggos, what would you like best for your progeny? are my yarn choices appalling? do you despise my project ideas? what would you like for your hypothetical or actual offspring? you have a better idea?

a confession

2009-02-28T00:49:00.004-06:00

on our little holiday, after the babes were in bed, my partner and i gladly changed the channel from the toddler station to one with more adult content. we were chatting, joking, drinking, snacking. it was really nice.
then an image came on the screen and everything changed. i became utterly deaf to my partner. i couldn't tear my eyes away from the screen. my mouth went dry, then was flooded with juices. my guts twisted, my thighs trembled...

it was a red lobster commercial.food porn deserves its name. definitley. i was shocked at my strong, instant reaction to the image of crustaceous flesh. no human, no matter how sexy, could have caused that visceral and physical of a reaction in me. these images are nice, but they aren't the ones in the red lobster ads. you know the ones. the light is yellow, warm, inviting. the steam rises from the tender, juicy flesh. a chunk is speared and dunked in a cup of garlic butter. the mind instantly recalls that the only thing better than garlic butter is seafood in garlic butter, especially lobster.
then begins the obsessing. how can i get to red lobster? can i afford it? does it matter? what if i just went for one of their (relatively) cheap-o lunch specials? but those, looking at the online menu, don't include lobster. would shrimp satisfy me? probably not, it'd need to be the real thing. when could i go?

around and around these thoughts go, driving me to distraction. i need to refocus my mind on something more productive. less expensive, frivolous and fattening...
knitting.

late february lists

2009-02-25T23:00:00.004-06:00

tomorrow my little family is going away for a one-night vacation. we'll chase the kids around outside then chase them around in a pool, and when they're too tired to stand up we'll put them to bed early, break out the booze, and watch tv. i can hardly wait. i haven't watched law & order since last summer.

today i have been packing. it used to be that packing to go away for one measly night would take three minutes, right before i breeze out the door. but things have changed.
so far i have:

a 5 inch high stack of books for the babes and i. this doesn't include my partner's reading stack, which will doubtless be at least a couple of inches
a french press, freshly ground coffee, and mugs, since the small town where we're going might not have the quality of coffee that we have come to require
a bag with fruit, eggs, rice, juice, soymilk, cereal, etc, etc. enough food for several days.
ten diapers, two baggies with wipes, two pairs of underwear, three pairs of pants, three shirts, two pairs of socks, two swimsuits, two sweaters, long underwear, a sleeper and a pair of pj's. and i haven't packed a single item of clothing for myself, yet.
the laptop, charger, camera, and extra batteries. should i bring the crappy old camera, just in case?
a 6 inch stack of cd's for the road. this will doubtless grow before we leave, and we will still bemoan the lack of selection at some point.
yarn, needles, and accessories, plus the pattern for the bff socks. also, all the additional help i could find for the two new stitches i'll be using, a cabled increase and a cabled decrease. all somewhat legibly written on the back of some junk mail.
tomorrow before we leave town we'll need to stop for groceries, booze and more books.

~*~

today my valentine's present arrived from my friend claire. lookit!

amazing, face-rubbingly soft organic cotton, my favourite! and hearts, to be all seasonally-appropriate. does it get any better than this? because i don't think it does. the really cool part is that literally a minute after opening the mail and being overwhelmed with glee i felt a little surge... time to use one of these puppies! claire, your valentine's present isn't late. it's exactly on time. thanks, lovely!

for the love of the yarn

2009-02-24T22:19:00.004-06:00

it all started, as these things do, on ravelry. that place makes people do silly things. 'ravelry made me do it' is probably a legitimate defense to use in court.

first, i learned that my local yarn store (lys) had some yarn that i love on sale. 3$ per big skein of soft, local, beautiful wool. then i just happened to be perusing the patterns for things that i could make with that weight of yarn, and i found this.i've never knit a sweater before, but isn't the best time to start when the yarn is on sale?

that did it. the yarn had my head in a death grip and wouldn't let go until i got some. so i made a deal with myself. if i could run all my errands and make it to the lys on one bus ticket, i could have the yarn. if anyone could make it to the five places on my list and the lys (which is far from all the other places) within the hour that a bus transfer is usable, i would say that the yarn gods must be smiling on them and they should get the fibre they seek.

so, of course, i did it. lightning-fast trips to the bank, the library, the drugstore... i did not stop to smell any roses. i had mild panic attacks every time i had to switch buses. what if i just missed it? what if the bus came late? for what was intended to be an enjoyable day off from my domestic responsibilities, it sure stressed me out. but i did it; i deserved all the yarn my backpack could hold.

my final bus dropped me off a little ways from the lys. google maps says it was about a mile. but have i mentioned the weather? it was -33 celsius that day, -27 fahrenheit. bloody cold. and the wind was crazy, blowing sheet after sheet of insidious snow into my face and into all the corners and crevices of my hat, my scarf, and my coat. it was worse than this looksand actually not that fun to walk in. that mile took me half an hour.

i got to the store and found my beautiful yarn. at the checkout i did what it took to cram the yarn into my already full backpack, telling the saleswoman that there was no way in hell that i would carry a bag, my hands needed to stay in my pockets for warmth. as i wound my scarf around my face and arranged my hat and two hoods, she jokingly said that she hoped i wasn't going out walking in that maelstrom. she was visibly shocked when i affirmed that i was. i admitted that if ever my commitment to yarn snobbery was challenged, it was today. but it's common knowledge that i have more stubbornness than smarts, so there i was, in the industrial area (read: bad bus service) in a winter storm.

my original plan was to stay at the store and wind all my yarn into balls using their equipment, saving myself heartache later. but the sun was about to set and the storm wasn't going to get better any time soon, so i figured it would be better to go for my stroll while the drivers could see me walking in the road instead of waiting for it to get dark. (the sidewalks were impassable)

i trudged, head down and shoulders hunched against the wind, through the storm. it sucked. but i happened to look up at just the right moment, and saw a bus! for a moment i thought it was just my wishful thinking taking me for a ride, but the rare and elusive bus that drives that route just happened to be going past! i sprinted and waved and yelled. (this is the place where if i were making this up i would say the bus driver didn't see me, but this here is a truthful account, yo)

the bus stopped. my transfer was long since expired, but the driver so admired my tenacity that he let me ride for free. the most wonderful part is that the bus i was on passes within a block of my house. i was home, drinking hot coffee, 15 minutes later.

but the story doesn't end here. nosirree. i may have escaped frostbite, but there were still more (less dramatic) adventures to come.

remember how i didn't wind the yarn into balls? well, i'm making socks out of that same yarn, from a skein that i bought (and wound) earlier. i'm almost at the toe of the second sock, but the yarn ran out. this evening i got to wind the skein into a ball.

oh, pshaw, you say. big deal. you probably do it all the time, just for fun. but do you remember that i have a 3 year old and a 1 year old? not so fun.to keep it all out of their reach, i had to hang the yarn from my splintery, beat-up bedroom door. as i wound, the yarn caught on the wood and caught on itself and caught on the wood again. plus yarn from the top kept slipping off the door, creating a messy tangle at the bottom of the loop. when the boys realized what i was doing, the wanted in on the action. they enjoyed swinging the door open and closed, crying when made them stop, kicking the door over and over, lying on the floor wailing when i made them stop, begging for treats, whining when i said no...

i wished i was back out in the blowing snow.

it took a couple of miserable hours, but i got it done.
it seems like a lot to go through for something so small, but this is yarn, people. 100% worth it. now i can finish up the socks and get them mailed off (they're already late for my dad's birthday. i'm a very bad daughter) and start a new, exciting project. one that uses yarn that is already neatly wound on cones.

today on etsy

2009-02-23T20:45:00.007-06:00

this evening my babes are playing happily without me, the jelly beans are flowing freely into my mouth, and i have a headache, so the siren call of etsy lured me in. i found:

this yarn for my friend amanda. she would make amazing, hand-dyed socks with it. she's incredible, you give her a blank canvas and she makes art.
these seeds for myself, especially these: and these: (because i love growing nontraditionally-coloured things)

this for myself, because paisley reminds me of my sister and i have a thing for green
this for my bathroom, because it's beautiful and the bathroom sink would look much nicer with it.
and, finally, this for daffodylic, because it's beautiful, like her.

i might get the soap dish, but probably nothing else, thanks to my personal economy. plus my toilet is broken and i need something pretty to distract from the stench. but man, etsy is a freaking wonderland for virtual window shopping.

urgent call to activists

2009-02-22T23:48:00.004-06:00

your attention, please. there is a serious problem, and all of you need to contribute to rectifying it. if even one of you slacks off, this tragic occurrence will continue. that would be unacceptable.

we all need to contact the USNANA (underwear styles naming association of north america) to let them know that a major error has occurred within their profession:

boy shorts are not actually for boys.

i know what you're thinking. there's no way that such revered and admired academics as these could have made such an obvious mistake, but somehow it has happened. in spite of all the clinical studies, the peer-reviewed research, the veritable fount of information that is the JGSN, (journal of gitch style namers) in spite of investigation of the subject dating back to the greeks, or even earlier... somehow they got it wrong.

i know you're thinking 'who is that chick to question a conclusion reached by the hallowed profession of lingere labelers? does she have an advanced degree in skivvieology?' the answer, friends, is no, but i have eyes and i know what i have seen.

boy shorts are definitely not for boys.

think of a baguette in a grocery bag. think of a strand of hair escaped from a turban. the man-bits don't fit. the dainties don't fit. the name doesn't fit.

so join me in my letter writing campaign, my organisation of global protests, and my personal grief at having been so misled for so long. join me and right this terrible wrong.

i'll see you at the trillion person march on washington.

**because i'm silly like that, i propose a contest. the last one was so much fun, don't you think? whoever can come up with the best new name for boyshort undies by the end of the month gets a bunch of handmade giftcards. i'll break out the crayons, construction paper and posterpaints and send you at least ten whimsical little cards to inscribe and pass on to those you really ought to give cards to.

comment away.

dear

2009-02-21T22:21:00.003-06:00

dear lover:
you are a saint. thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou for watching the kids when you got home from your (12 hour!!) night shift. when i got home (at 3 pm!) they were happy, well fed and clean. i'll find a way to repay you.

dear baby:
you can sleep now, it's ok. in fact, babies all over this time zone are sleeping at this very moment. go ahead.

dear sock:
please knit your own damned self. and be done by monday morning, ok?

dear obama:
when you started choosing your cabinet i was bummed, it looked like all the hype was going to come to nothing, based on your choices. but you've proven my pessimism wrong, so far. i definitley don't agree with you 100%, but you've gotten more right than any other politician active in my lifetime. thanks!

dear money: you should consider entering in along-term, stable relationship with me. i'm very nice, i promise.

dear daffodylic: i really wanted to talk to you last night, then again this afternoon. i wish you lived next door.

dear self: you're doing ok. things aren't perfect, but you are doing well. please take moments to be peaceful and grateful.

dear winter: enough already, get lost

dear ikea: i'll see you in april, and i can't wait.

kisses,
me

grossout contest winner

2009-02-18T12:08:00.004-06:00

the contest is over, these are the entries:

"Haggis - food with a heart!"
"It's not a mineral, it's not a vegetable - must be an animal?"
"Now with the right amount of squish!"
"It comes in a can!"
Haggis, The dinner to eat with a friend.
Haggis, AN excuse to drink scotch
Haggis the OTHER OTher white meat
Haggis, Down home cooking for the down home family
Haggis, the Heart of the party.
Haggis: The heart of Scotland in a can
A wee taste o' Scotland
Haggis in a can: It don't get much better than this! (yes, the grammatical error is on purpose)
Haggis, a step above roadkill
Haggis, not even your mom would eat this.
CANNED HAGGIS: Slightly less disgusting than a big pile of crap!
Haggis: Naturally gluten free!
Haggis - eat it at lunch and your mother in laws cooking will be greatly improved at dinner!
Tasty, High Protein Snack!
"Slow Cooked" in "Natural" grease!
Also used as an industrial-strength cleaner!
Won FIRST PRIZE at Milton Valley's Annual Science Fair!

i was surprised, relieved, and disappointed that no one went to the dark and strange world of offal/awful puns. it would have been so easy to say 'it's not awful, it's offal!' or something. but you all kept away from there. my readers are classy that way.

it was really hard to choose a winner. my favourites were 2,10, 19 and 21, but the people i've asked to help me choose kept saying that a different one was the best. honestly, i'd overlooked it. it's in with a bunch of them that all start the same, and my eyes skipped right over it. but the more i looked at it the more i liked it, and so i give you the winner:

Haggis, the Heart of the party.

maria, you opted out of the actual contest, but i'm still going to send you a prize. i'll figure out what eventually. good job!

good housekeeping

2009-02-17T13:48:00.006-06:00

today i my friend and i were joking about our messy homes, and i realized my place looks like a dump. shamed, i decided to do something about it. sometimes shame is good, if it makes you productive. see?

before
after
before
after
before
after

guest post: daffodylic tells a tale

2009-02-16T21:10:00.004-06:00

and now, my friends, i bring you your weekly guest blog:

One Weird Day + Easy Hummus

My weird day started in my afternoon writing class; the lesson of the day was “The Topic Sentence” so I was doing my thing up in front of the class, writing notes on the sticky old white board that smears when I try to wipe it. With Valentine's Day just behind us, I chose Love to brainstorm on the board to illustrate the process of writing that perfect topic sentence. We needed to narrow the topic, so we discussed types of love. The class discussion went haywire, so I redirected... “Family love, folks. Family love is a type of love. What's another type of love?” Friends, ah yes. Students typically come up with that one on their own. OK, last one. My brain willed the students just to come up with what my students come up with every semester: Romantic love. Come on folks... it's not that hard....

“SELF love!” Shouted a greasy, squinty-eyed boy who sits to the right. The class twittered, and I had to keep my facial expression blasé and unimpressed. I try not to over-guide my students during class discussions, but I went ahead and gave them the “Romantic Love” bit. Coming back to the family section, I asked what kinds of family love there were. I received the typical answers: Parents, siblings, kids....Mr. Self-Love tried to interject his point of view of masturbation being “family love” but we all ignored him. Friends went smoothly. However, when we got to the “Romantic Love” section, a clueless older student who sits in the back called out, “PETS!” There was a moment of painful, awkward silence before the class roared with laughter.

“Uh... romantic love, Al. We shouldn't have romantic love for our animals. Perhaps pet love could go under family...” I might have stammered through my response. It's possible. The class was rapidly getting out of control. Self-romantic-love came back up, and I guided the discussion again... the example I give every semester....

Puppy love.

The class howled. Exasperated, I tossed my almost-dried-out dry erase marker down on the desk and explained, “Puppy love, class, is infatuation.”

I tried to rein them in, I really did. I took our brainstorming and tried to relate it back to creating the topic sentence, which I had to give them because they were too obsessed with discussing masturbation and bestiality.

I broke down. I took the coward's way out: Book work and early release. Weird freaking class.

I deserved a little break. A treat. Ah yes, a peppermint latte from the campus coffee shop. I'm friendly with the girl who works there, and as soon as she sees me come in, she starts the espresso machine and pulls out the bottle of peppermint. We chatted amicably – “How are your classes going?” and “Your students behaving themselves?” Nice, normal small talk. She frothed milk and pumped peppermint into a cup.

She stopped suddenly, “That's it! I know who you remind me of! The girl on Step by Step, that old sitcom. You remind me of the tomboy, cool sister!” She looked back to an older gentleman sitting in the back of the shop. “Don't you think so?”

He stood up. He had a cane that he used lightly to walk over to the counter where I stood waiting for my perfectly normal peppermint latte.

“Hmm. First, you should make that latte a double espresso.” He winked at the attendant. She re-started the machine. “And let's see... I never watched Step by Step. I think you resemble...” He stepped close and peered into my face. My latte (er... double espresso) was ready, and I just wanted to pick it up and sit on a bench in the sun and forget my weird day for a few minutes.

“Ah yes, I know who you look like, but to be sure...” He stepped even closer and touched my cheek, turning it gently and almost caressing. “Leah Thompson. Admittedly, though ma'am, I just wanted the chance to touch your cheek.”

I laughed nervously, grabbed my coffee, said polite thank yous and goodbyes, and went to go find a park bench.

OK, first my class goes out of control talking about inappropriate topics, then some old guy caresses my cheek in a coffee shop. I think we need to chalk this one up to a weird day. So I went home and made hummus because there really is nothing else to do when discussions and conversations and encounters turn bizarre.

Daffodyllic Hummus

1 cup (or so) cooked chickpeas.
1 tsp turmeric
1 tsp cumin
hand-squeezed juice of one lemon
A few grinds of sea salt, to taste
3 tbsp olive oil

Blend it all in a food processor or blender until it is the consistency you like. Put in pretty bowl and garnish with a tsp of olive oil in the center and paprika sprinkled over the top. Enjoy with freshly toasted pita triangles. And try to forget your weird day.

my knittiversary!

2009-02-14T16:16:00.007-06:00

on feb 13, 2008 i started knitting. i don't have pictures of several of my projects, but here's a selection of things i've worked on in the past year, in chronological order, with intermittent reminisces:
i used to knit when i was a kid. my dad taught me. he's a fantastic knitter, but his compulsion to constantly have something on the needles has worn off after more than 40 years. it's ok, i make up for his lack of knitting fanaticism.when i was 8 or 9 i read about hellen keller and became really interested in understanding how she perceived things. (i'd say i wanted to see things through her eyes, but that might be in poor taste) upon learning that she could knit, i started knitting in the dark. i remember my parents finding me sitting bolt upright on my bed (in my mind hellen keller had perfect posture) with the lights off and blinds drawn, knitting. as i recall they were baffled.my childhood knitting involved starting a lot of scarves and getting bored of them. i haven't made a single scarf, so far, and i have no plans to in the near future.my interest in knitting was reawakened by three things:

some good friends of mine knit. the things they make are beautiful and interesting. i like making things, especially beautiful, interesting things.
i was running low on socks and couldn't find ethical, affordable ones anywhere. my knitting friends, serendipitously, are sock knitters. it had never occurred to me before to make my own socks, but the idea was becoming appealing.
finally, i was in my favourite consignment/ yarn store and saw a yarn that took my breath away. the colours and textures sang to me. it was noro kureyon sock yarn, and with it i made these:

since then knitting has really grabbed me. my list of things i'd like to do is as long as my arm, easily. i spend lots of time on ravelry, and often as i drift off to sleep at night i'm thinking about knitting.
colour and light, followed closely by texture, are important to my mental wellbeing. photography satisfies my visual needs, but without something to touch, i'm not completley satisfied. yarn has colour and texture, and turning string into fabric is food for my soul.this year i'm hoping to make one pair of socks a month. included in that is at least one pair of felted slippers and some christmas stockings. i haven't decided if i need to make one stocking or two in a month to meet mygoal. i suspect that it will depend on how ornate the stockings are.on top of all those socks i want to make a sweater or two, a shrug, two hats, and more. it will be a busy year, knit-wise, but that appeals to me.these are my january socks. i've already blogged about them lots so you're probably bored of hearing about them. this hat has me stumped. i should have used a pattern. improvising is great when it works, but when it doesn't...this is one of my february socks. i'm making thick socks for my dad. they'll be done by the end of the month but not in time for his birthday.

true love, 584 style

2009-02-14T15:14:00.006-06:00

this year for valentine's day i gave my partner a gift with heart.
pig heart, that is.
and he let me know that he thinks i'm a bag.ok, ok, so the pig heart* was one of the random parts we got with the 1/2 pig we bought last fall.** and because i'm not that cruel, he also gets a 6 of beer. i picked the bag out for myself yesterday, and i love it. my new camera***
finally has a home!

* i also gave my partner the pig's tongue, just because. but i didn't take a picture because looking at it made me want to puke
**there's a local guy who raises pigs ethically. he grows the grain to feed them, even. organically. ethical meat! cheaper than the grocery store! and much, much tastier!
*** i recently got an exciting new camera! a million times than my shitty-ass old one. it's fan-freakin'-tabulous. yay for random gifts from wealthy relatives!

book review: last chance saloon

2009-02-11T23:06:00.005-06:00

marian keyes' last chance saloon is the archetypal chicklit book. stock characters (the skinny, neurotic one, the chubby, bubbly one and the gay man, plus peripheral characters, equally predictable. all of them are in their early 30's and live in london and none have any real responsibility) shop, drink, diet, obsess, and go through crises. in the end they are happy, well dressed, well partnered, and well shod. not to belabour the point or anything, but the last pararagraph is

'to life!' seven glasses clinked in the middle of the tablewhile seven chorused, 'and men with big willies!'

i'm not deriding the book, though. not at all. fluffy, silly books like this serve a purpose. today i had two small, feverish bodies draped across me and i wasn't exactly about to read dostoevsky. similarly, when i was pregnant i couldn't get enough of the girly fluff. for people who don't watch sitcoms or chick flicks, these books are fantastic escapism. last chance saloon didn't change my life or teach me anything, but it entertained me through many tedious hours.

but before i let the book and the genre off the hook completely, i have a few questions.

why are there never lesbians in these books? frequently a flamboyant gay man, but never a dyke.
why are there no people with mental illness or physical handicaps?
why are they all nonreligious? there's always one person who is investigating her spirituality, but she's the flaky, gullible one.
why is no one non-mainstream? no goths, punks, hippies, never the most distant glimpse of a metalhead...

it's the homogenized humans that bug me. maybe what this genre needs, in order for me to embrace it fully, is a book proudly featuring a one-legged hindu lesbian with down's syndrome. her best friend would be a post-op trans man who works at walmart and listens to bluegrass. can anyone point me in that direction?

guest post: daffodylic the terrific

2009-02-11T12:34:00.004-06:00

my narcissistic friend is here again. enjoy.

Sometimes we take on more than we can handle. By "we" I mean we human beings, and by "take on more" I mean adding so much to our plates that "biting off more than we can chew" becomes an understatement. Examples of this can include parenting (come on, did we ever know that it would be this challenging?!) or deciding to glue together 500 pieces of a broken figurine made of porcelain. You know, those moments when you are in the middle of a project and you think, Oh. This is harder than I thought it was going to be. I don't feel very qualified….

Several months ago, an old friend of mine (read: ex boyfriend) sent me a text message asking me if I would be available to tutor his client's son. I sent a text back indicating that he could pass on my contact information and I would scope out the opportunity. (For what it is worth, the message did not read "lol omg txt my # 2 doc" though my friend would have found that hilarious.)

I did take the gig - partially as a favor to an old friend, partially for the money and partially shits and giggles. The boy is fifteen with muddy red hair and Coke-bottle glasses. He is skinny and acne-prone. Oh yes, and he's an Aspie. The first few tutoring session with him went surprisingly well. We had one enormous success with a baking soda and vinegar science experiment that ended with a monotone declaration of his love for me. And that's the problem with successes: We get comfortable. Confident. Pretty damn sure we can waltz in and take the challenge blindfolded with both hands tied behind our backs.
Until we are blindfolded with both hands tied behind our backs.

A couple sessions ago, I hit a brick wall with my young student. Several times during the hour, he put his head down and groaned. He ended our session by saying he had to poop, and he got up from the table never to return. I chalked it up to a bad day. I left, discouraged but still overall confident from the prior successes whispering monotone affections in my memory.

My last tutoring session began with a sleeping teenager, who rapidly morphed into a groggy, grumpy teenager. I had brought color-coded word games for him (surely he would love that). He played 30 seconds with the stack of cards and then put his head on the table. I brought out my clip-art-enhanced writing prompts with graphic organizers. He looked, groaned, and laid his head down.

I leaned close to him and said very softly, "Give me a word. Any word."

"Goodbye."

Clearly he wanted me to take a hint. Instead, I pulled out my thesaurus and looked up "leave." On my tablet, I wrote down abscond, escape, exit, travel, depart. He tried not to let me see him watching me. I flipped over to the E's. Evacuation, exodus, expiration.

"What are you doing?"

I flipped the pages purposefully and answered, almost like an after-thought, "I'm looking up words."

"Why?"

I smiled at him, "So I can find exactly the right one...." He picked up the tablet and looked at the list of words.

"Give me another word, and I'll show you," I said encouragingly.

"Depressed." He tossed the note pad down. Then his head went down. Uncertain, I slowly flipped toward the D's. His mother chose that moment to come in.

"You are going to FAIL your writing test tomorrow if you don't GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER and let your tutor HELP you. Do you WANT to fail? GET UP NOW AND WORK."

His eyes nervously focused and unfocused. "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," he groaned and breathed rapidly. His mother wasn't quite finished. "You know, she's being really patient with you, and you're being mean to her." She left the room and I flipped to the P's. Patience, forbearance, perseverance, long-suffering. He was watching again.

"Suffering, all right," he snarled at me angrily. I looked in his eyes. He hated me at that moment. He was terrified. He was frustrated. And nothing I was doing was reaching him at all. I touched his shoulder and he jumped back growling at me, peering down and over the tops of his glasses and baring his teeth.

I had one last project tucked in my bag. A list of 21 sentence starters. I pulled out the sheet, and read the first one off to him: This morning I got out of bed, and I.... He groaned. I read off two more. More groans. That's when the moment really hit me. I'm not qualified to do this kind of work. I have a measly little degree in Creative Writing, earned from a less-than-stellar university over eight years ago. Just because I work with college prep students and teach grammar in an unorthodox way obviously doesn't mean I can come into this home with no experience and reach this boy.

The hour was almost over. My head throbbed right in front, over the forehead. I was hungry. I was embarrassed that I had even pretended I could take on this project. Unqualified was an understatement.

Number 20: When I need a quiet place to think, I go...

"...To bed."

I looked at him. He looked at me. His eyes are a pretty shade of blue and I bet no one ever notices that about him.

"Write it," I said, shoving the tablet and a pen toward him. "Write 'when I need a quiet place to think, I go to bed.'"

He wrote it, and said, "Sometimes my brain wants to stay awake longer than my body."

"Write it. Write exactly what you say."

He wrote five sentences, saying them out loud and then copying his words onto the paper. Midway through the last sentence, he looked at me.
"You know, you're right - it is easier when I say it out loud first and then write it." He finished writing the fifth sentence. It was time for me to go.

"Tomorrow, on your test, talk to your paper, ok? Just talk to it. It's ok to do that. Then write what you say." I wrote in all capital letters on a blank sheet of paper: "TALK TO THE PAPER." He drew an outline of Yoda on his hand. His hand said, "Do or not do, there is no try." And he said back to it, "I will talk to the paper."

On my way out the door, his mother asked me if there was anything else he needed to do before I cam back the next time. I mumbled something about the sentence starters... five sentences for each one. She paid me a little extra.

Sometimes we take on more than we can handle. Sometimes we learn a little something about ourselves in the process. Our boundaries, our limitations, our fallibilities. Humility. Perseverance. Long-suffering.

short

2009-02-10T20:08:00.002-06:00

my partner and my baby are feverish, limp and sad. my boy is being pretty good, considering. i'm tired and bored and stressed. so instead of posting i will just say:

camping. it's in tents.

pottymouth

2009-02-09T10:46:00.005-06:00

this morning i was peacefully sipping my coffee when i heard a little voice coming from under the table.
...mumble mumble bloody fuckin' mumble mumble....
he sounded just the way his mama (charmingly) does when she's frustrated with something.

my son has recently become fascinated with language. he wants to know the french words for things, the synonyms for things, and when different words are appropriate. we've been trying to teach him that there are certain words, beverages and behaviours that only grown-ups get to do. (before your mind throws itself in the gutter, by 'behaviours' i mean using the stove, telling the baby not to do things, filling the bath, and staying up late)

we've rolled our eyes when he's felt the need to run around the house yelling 'penis' over and over and over. it's perfectly acceptable when he says 'what the heck. what the heck, mama!' but we have serious talks about age-appropriate language when he tells me that he just took a shit. in fact, he recently told a guest that he wasn't allowed to say hell or ass because he's just a little boy.

i realize this arrangement isn't ideal. we've been trying for more than three years to clean up our language. what i've realised is that i love swearing, and i really resent being censored, even if it's by a baby. this is just another part of the struggle between being true to my (foul-mouthed) self and doing what's best for my kids. i'm trying to find a balance, and for now being openly hypocritical seems to be what works.

in other language-related news, the baby can say 'death star' and 'yoda', but not 'juice' or 'apple'. we teach our kids right, 'round here.

fuckin' a.

recipe: gluten free spanikopitas

2009-02-08T21:36:00.010-06:00

last night we hosted a stuff white people like-themed party. there was fondue, ugly sweaters, california rolls, granola cookies, science fiction references, cbc radio, and a lot of witty comments. white people like themed parties.

without fail, the day after a good party i feel mopey and antisocial. it may be my passive-aggressive way of avoiding having to do the cleanup, but i always want to be left the hell alone after a good shindig. today was no exception. i've spent the day trying to dodge human interaction, with mixed results. the day is finally over, the babies are asleep, my partner has quit with the friendly overtures, and i get to sit by myself and drink some leftover wine. bliss.

~*~

i feel bad for so rarely remembering to write down my gluten free recipes. if a person liked spending a pile of cash on hard-to-find ingredients that made so-so food, they'd find that the internet is a treasure trove. for people who want something tastier and less expensive, not so much. i've had to make things up as i go along and improvise substitutions to make my favourite recipes acceptable for little mr g. f. so here's my recipe for gluten free spanikopitas. (spanakopitas? i never know how to spell that)

really, this is just a regular spanikopita recipe, heavily canadianized, with one major modification that makes it gluten free. please go ahead and alter this to fit your preferences and fridge contents, it's a versatile enough idea that you can really do whatever you like with it.

first, take these:
feta cheese, chopped spinach, pepper, eggs, dill, and cheddar. the cheddar is my very canadian addition, if you prefer a more authentic taste, skip it. similarly, i really like dill, but people often prefer oregano and other more greek herbs. add in chopped tomatoes and sauteed onions if you like.

i like to just wing it, so the quantities pictured above are not accurate. you want the mixture to be gloppy but not runny, and nicely cohesive. i used 500 grams of spinach, half the feta, one of the chunks of cheddar, both eggs, ~1 tsp of dill and ~1 tsp of pepper. it could have used more pepper. the quantities are really up to you, so long as it isn't runny you're good.

next, get:
a package of rice paper, (also called rice wraps, available at asian groceries or the asian aisle of a big grocery store. these usually cost less than 3$ for two or three batches of spanikopita, hella cheaper than phyllo) a bowl of superhot water, and your nicely gloppy mixture. the water should be in a round bowl or pot that's big enough to hold the rice paper.

this is the tricky part. (but not trickier than using phyllo) dip one sheet of the rice paper in the water and leave it there for a few seconds while it softens. the colder the water the longer it takes to soften. then pull it out and lay it down carefully. if the paper touches itself it will stick. if the whole thing clumps up into a sticky, unusable mass, put it back in the water and try again. if all goes right, you should have a more or less flat circle of sticky, wet rice paper on your counter, like this:

as pictured, put a bit of your glop in the middle. the amount is up to you: do you want bite-sized snacks or meal-sized turnovers? then fold it up into a neat package, being careful to leave some space inside the package. if it's too tight the cooking contents have nowhere to expand and your spanikopita will spill all over the pan. it's less appetizing when that happens.

place your bundles of deliciousness on a greased cookie sheet. they don't expand when they cook so they can be really close to one another, but don't let them touch or you'll end up with siamese twins. er, um, conjoined multiples. whatever.
bake them with whatever else you're putting in the oven, checking them every so often. when the rice paper is hard and the bits of cheese that have spilled out are getting golden and tasty-looking, they're done. i've never personally cooked them on their own and i suspect that baking time depends on the amount of goop in each spanikopita, but i'd say you could probably put them in at 375 for at least 20 minutes.

i know my instructions are hard to fit on a recipe card, and i'm sorry. but this is how i cook and i have a really hard time translating my vague, guesstimation-based cooking style into something succinct. probably why i'll never write a cookbook.

anyways, they're tasty and gluten free. and if you get feta made with goat milk, they're lactose free. i hope you enjoy them. i think i'll go pull some party leftovers out of the fridge now, thinking about these tasty little bundles has made me hungry.

my seeds came!

2009-02-06T12:18:00.014-06:00

i was just wondering what to blog about when my crazy mailman came with a yellow padded envelope of happiness for me. yay, mailman! naturally, i pulled out my seed collection (kept in the kitchen next to the vitamins, for easy access) and started obsessively shuffling through them like an 8 year old with baseball cards and a sugar rush.
i have:

bull's blood beets
early annie tomatoes
hosta mix (loves shade, perrenial. i'm not going to plant these, so let me know if you want them)
bison tomatoes
purple dragon carrots (came free with this year's seed order!)
golden bantam corn
magic carpet snapdragon mix (i don't really plant flowers, so if you want these you can probably talk me out of them)
jaune de doubs carrots
arikara sundlowers (these don't count as flowers, since they make tasty food)
german red strawberry tomatoes
hungarian hot peppers (these don't grow well in my climate, i got one pepper from the plant last summer. granted, it was in a tomato's shadow, but still.)
ring-of-fire cayenne (ditto these. one pepper per plant = not worth the space they take up)
cherokee trail of tears black beans (my son calls these crying beans and they did very well. we finished the last of the beans we harvested in january. i'm not trading these since i'll need all i have to plant in the spring, but next year i'll set aside more for planting and swapping)
blue pod capucijners peas (these are for guerrilla gardening. i like to plant peas all over the neighbourhood each spring. peas grow without much encouragement, climb things, look nice, and are edible. it's interesting to see which ones are left to thrive and which are uprooted right away)
siberian home peppers (no picture, but these fantastic little peppers grow on a sturdy little tree in a pot, and produce year-round. i love gathering fresh hot peppers for my chili in february)
sweet purple & yellow bell peppers (no pic, from a swap. i have no details aside from the name)

they're all either from a reputable seller of heirloom seeds, saved from last year's harvest, or from seed swaps. i'm up for swapping most of them, if anyone wants, and i'd happily give away the hosta and some of the snapdragons. leave me a comment with contact info and i'll get back to you.
note: i don't necessarily want more seeds if you have some other small thing to swap. try me, i'm easy. (like your mom)

28 things about me

2009-02-05T20:36:00.005-06:00

1. escalators make me nervous. regular stairs, too. i avoid them when possible.
2. i can lick my nose
3. i'm a certified jeweler
4. dairy, onions and peppers give me gas
5. i learned to read when i was 3
6. i don't know how to drive
7. my knee is semi-crippled.
8. my parents think i'm an evangelical christian
9. i'm agnostic, but i call myself a pastafarian because that's more fun (and means basically the same thing)
10. i endeavor to be better at photography. i read about it and practice lots.
11. ditto knitting.
12. i often struggle with the way my life is. this is nothing like what i had planned.
13. i'm very allergic to beestings
14. dragonflies terrify me
15. my belly fat is deeply embarrassing to me.
16. i accidentally killed a mouse when i was 7 and i still feel guilty
17. adopting a couple of girls would be a dream come true for me, but i don't think it will ever happen.
18. i spent a couple of years being severely depressed
19. i wanted to name my younger son jedi but my partner vetoed the idea.
20. i had a pet rat named snitch, but i only had her for two weeks. don't cosleep with rodents, yo.
21. sugar is my main vice. i don't really have any others.
22. well, and caffeine. but nothing else.
23. i only have a few friends in real life. my online social life is much more active.
24. i pronounce apricot ape-ricot, not app-ricot, to my partner's chagrin.
25. reading is much better than watching tv, in my opinion.
26. i know how to tango. badly, but still, i know the basics.
27. most of my undies are organic.
28. i normally use all owercase letters when typing because i'm not a capitalist.

any questions?

grossout (a contest)

2009-02-04T20:00:00.005-06:00

my partner and his friend ate canned haggis this week. the two of them often eat really gross stuff together, like preserved duck eggs.
i go out when they're having one of their disgust-o-fests.

like i said, this week it was canned haggis. he and his friend cooked the haggis and ate it on toast. they washed it down with scotch, to make the experience more authentic.
when they opened the can, the haggis didn't smell or look much worse than canned dog food, they say. i was previously unaware that things that are unfavourably comparable to canned dog food were considered edible. i believe his exact words were 'like canned dog food, but with an organ-meat sort of tinge to it, and gelatinous'.
my partner was disappointed that it wasn't encased in a sheep's stomach. perv. he also claims to have enjoyed it. i've refused to kiss him for the past few days. i can't kiss a mouth that has eaten this:in case you're wondering, the ingredients are: water, lamb heart, oats, pork fat, lamb liver, pork, salt, flavours, and dehydrated onion.
the can advertises that the product is free of additives and preservatives. if i were trying to market a can of lamb hearts preserved in lard i wouldn't focus so much on that particular aspect. i'd be more likely to put 'at least it's not human flesh!' on it or something.

which brings me to my contest. what line would you put on the can to make canned haggis attractive to shoppers? how would you market it? is there a slogan or catchphrase that would make this putrid sludge appealing? leave your idea in the comments section. if you have an image that you would print on the label, link to it. the contest closes on valentine's day. the winner will recieve a variety of cool band-aids from my son's collection. he definitley has shrek, superman, spiderman and batman band-aids, and i think there are still some hello kitty, jesus and pirate band-aids floating around here somewhere. if the winning response is cool enough i'll probably feel the need to throw some other random, bizarre stuff into the prize envelope, too.

comment away!

purists, avert your eyes.

2009-02-02T09:47:00.004-06:00

whenever avocados and cucumbers are on sale at the same time i take it as a sign from the gods that it is time to make sushi.

typically we have california rolls in this house. these contain avocado, cucumber and fake crabmeat, wrapped in rice and nori. i've experimented with putting random leftovers in a roll, with varied results. the thai red curried tofu that was too hot to eat made delicious, interesting sushi. the spicy peanut sauce added interest to a plain-jane roll. the steamed broccoli did not.

this week i branched out even farther from the norm. i was making some delicious rolls for dinner and thought my son might like his own special sushi. he's usually happy to eat the rolls we're having, so long as they're small enough to fit in his mouth. (i omit the fake crabmeat since it's glutenny) but this week i thought i'd do something special for my boy.... hot dog* sushi.
one roll had avocado and hot dog, the other had hot dog and ketchup. he loved both equally. little weirdo.

*before you call me a hypocrite and a sell-out, let me explain the hot dog. yes, we eat only ethical meat. but the kid lost so much weight when he was sick in december that i doubled my fattening-up efforts. i've been buying him hot dogs because he loves them, and they take no prep. so i can grab one out of the fridge and let him shovel it down. i've also gotten the odd package of non-ethical bacon for him. i'm still fervently against factory farms, but i'm even more fervently for my son being a healthy weight.

book review: the groom to have been

2009-01-31T21:31:00.005-06:00

the groom to have been by saher alam is a fascinating, educating, fun read. i picked it up expecting something lighthearted and silly, since the cover describes it as 'a love story inspired by the age of innocence'. i've never read any edith wharton, but that description led me to believe that the book might be a comedy of manners. that description is misleading. this isn't a silly book at all, and it isn't a comedy of manners. it's a serious, interesting look at life as an idian-muslim immigrant in north america.

nasr, the protagonist, is looking for a wife. he wants a woman who can teach his children urdu, get along with his family and engage him, personally. obviously this woman is not to be found in a new york nightclub, so he enlists his mother, to her delight, to search for an appropriate bride for him. eventually the right woman is found and the wedding plans commence.

a few things make this book interesting and unique: nasr was raised in canada and is thoroughly (north) americanized, but respects his culture's traditions. he has to balance his western-ness with his eastern-ness, and the two sides often conflict. with his friends from work he goes to a bar and has a few beer, with his mother he eats halal and speaks urdu. nasr has to let go of the idea of romantic love in order to marry a stranger. also, he often has to translate his parents' culture to his friends, and in doing so explains it to the reader. arranged marriages, which seem so bizarre and outdated to me, begin to make sense when seen through his eyes. again and again customs that i had previously not understood or possibly even heard of are explained. ms. alam's writing is so elegant that this vast exposition of a culture isn't textbook-y or dense. rather, every so often i would realize that she had just taught me something new when i wasn't even aware that i was being taught. this author has not just grasped the concept of 'show, don't tell', she has mastered it.

the subjects that are touched upon are varied and often serious. life as a muslim in new york right after 9/11, the ongoing struggle to balance duty and desire, feminism and personal politics within islam, the deceptions that families build their lives on, being the victim of racism and hate crimes - it's all there, and more, eloquently expressed.

this is a book of generous depth and vibrant colour. i found reading it to be an enjoyable and rewarding experience. i highly recommend it.

guest post: daffodyllic speaks

2009-01-31T20:23:00.004-06:00

today my daffodil friend is guest blogging. she tells me that she is writing about herself, allegedly from my point of view. a narcissus talking about herself? fitting. but i'll let her tell you herself.

I have an exceptional friend. This friend enjoys a certain amount of anonymity (though truth be told, she can barely pronounce the word anonymity), so on occasion she goes by pseudonyms having to do with a Narcissus (daffodil, for you un-botanists). Daffodils are hearty, bright, cheerful, fleeting, persistent, joyful, short-lived, and commonly yellow. My friend is all of these things as well, especially the narcissistic part. For those of you unfamiliar with the story of Narcissus, he was a beautiful young Greek boy who had the misfortune of catching a glimpse of his perfect visage in the mirror of a pond, and proceeded to fall so helplessly in love with the reflection that he bent to kiss it and was drowned.
My friend is not Greek, male, in love with her reflection, nor drowned. However, she is swimming in her own snot today, as the result of catching a pesky virus of the Common Cold variety. Here she is, miserably attempting to stop the constant flow of liquid from her nostril area: Notice here the gold of her hair and the white of the disposable tissue: how like a daffodil in colouring.

Today my exceptional daffodilic friend cleaned out her car. She has a Grand AM, which is gold-coloured like some varieties of daffodils; she calls it her “good morning car,” though not to many people get the joke.

Her son (who is too brown to be compared to a daffodil of any variety, but is narcissistic in his own four-year-old way) helped with the chore of the day, and by help, I am sure we all mean got in the way, blasted his mother with the hose (instead of the vehicle), and sprayed too much biodegradable orange cleaner on the windows.
A fun Saturday morning activity, if you ask me, especially since the sun was shining and the weather was gorgeous, and below-freezing conditions are an inconceivable notion to native Floridians.
(Why do Canadians not spell “Morning” as “Mourning” when they insist on spelling every other “-or” word as “-our”…? Mysteries abound.) Speaking of mysteries, why is there a guest blogger? And what is the meaning of this post? And is there even a central idea to this rambling nonsense?

OK, so let’s sum up: My friend is like a daffodil, daffodils are a Narcissus, Narcissus fell in love with himself and drowned, my friend is drowning in her own snot and was drenched by a water hose that should have been aimed at her daffodil-coloured car. Also, the weather in Florida is more gorgeous than a Greek boy, and there is no snow, which daffodils can pop through anyway.
/end.

to answer my flowery friend's query, here's some info about why canadians spell things the way we do. also, thanks for spelling things the canadian way for me. good job.

sockly instruction

2009-01-30T11:22:00.010-06:00

my friend is learning to knit socks, and i thought i'd post a tutorial so she doesn't have to take me out each time she needs to learn the next step. not that i don't love going out, but an at-home resource is helpful.

first, cast on: if you're using fingering sock yarn, 60 - 65 stitches on size 2 needles works for most women. i like working in multiples of 12 stitches when possible, so my improvised socks have all had 64 stitches in them. i suggest looking up a pattern designed for the type of person you're making the socks for (man, woman, child, baby, etc) using the weight of yarn you have. even if i ignore the rest of the pattern, i like having someone else do the work as far as figuring out how many stitches to cast on.
cast on your stitches, divide between three needles. to join in the round, make sure the stitches are all pointing down, with no twists. then use the free yarn hanging of the third needle to start knitting the first needle, pulling it tight so you have a triangle of needles. like this: knit at least 1/2 an inch in a ribbing pattern. knit 1, purl 1 or knit 2, purl 2 are the most common. knit 2 purl 1 or knit 3 purl 1 are ok, too. it really doesn't matter, so long as you switch between knitting and purling every couple of stitches. the ribbing acts like an elastic, keeping your socks up. keep in mind that your ribbing pattern should work with your number of stitches - don't try to do a 4 stitch repeating pattern for the ribbing (k2p2, for example) of you have 61 stitches. this is why i like using a number of stitches that is divisible by 12, since almost everything works. the ankle of the sock is just a tube. knit in circles until it's the length you like. the easiest and fastest thing to do is stockingette (knit every stitch, all the time) but the sock will be more interesting if you make a pattern. when you've knit as much as you need to in order to have the sock height of your preference, put half the stitches on a stitch holder or just leave them on the needles, but ignore them. the other half of the stitches you will knit back and forth, like you do with flat knitting. you knit all, turn your work, slip one stitch, purl all. turn your work, slip one, knit all. continue to knit/ purl, turn, and slip one until you feel that the heel flap is long enough. a typical heel flap is ~3 inches long, maybe slightly less.
i like to knit the heels and toes of my socks with a strand of sewing thread along with the yarn for added reinforcement. what's the point of spending all this time making socks if they're just going to wear out? i use the thickest polyester thread i can find, in a colour similar to that of the yarn. this is the part where things get tricky. take it slow and trust the directions, and ask people for help when you're confused. it works, i promise.

divide the number of stitches in your heel flap in half.
add one
knit that number.
knit two together
knit one
turn your work
slip one
purl three
purl two together
purl one
turn your work
slip one
knit four
knit two together
knit one
turn your work
slip one

and so on. you can either keep adding one to the number of stitches you're knitting/ purling and count as you go, or go by visual cues. if you're doing the latter, (as i do) you knit/ purl together the stitches with a gap between them.
then knit/ purl one, then turn your work, then slip one, then knit/ purl until you get to the next gap. keep going until you've knit together the last two stitches on each end. finish on a knit row.
this part can be tricky, but it's quick. use a spare needle and pick up all the slipped stitches along the side of your heel flap. pick up an extra one when you get to the place where the flap meets the held stitches. this prevents unsightly holes. (the pink sock here has one of the unsightly holes you're hoping to avoid.) knit across the picked up stitches, then across the stitches that were held while you knit the flap. now pick up the stitches that run along the other side of the flap, making your knitting a tube once again. (remember to pick up that extra stitch at the beginning) when all your stitches are on needles again, it's time to rearrange them. you want the stitches you held back while you knit the heel flap all on one needle, needle 2. the rest of the stitches should be evenly divided between the other two needles, needles 1 and 3.
in round one, knit until you have three stitches left on needle 1, point A. knit two together, then knit one. knit across needle 2. (or continue whatever pattern you've been doing, needle 2 is the top of the foot) on needle 3 knit one, slip one, knit one, and pass the slipped stitch over the knit stitch, right off the needle. knit to the end of the needle.for round 2, knit the whole thing.
for round 3, follow the long instructions above. continue to alternate decreasing rounds and knitting rounds until you can add the stitches on needles 1 and 3 and have them equal the stitches on needle 2. for the body of the sock, knit your chosen pattern on needle 2 and knit all on needles 1 and 3 until you've got ~1.5 inches less than the length you need for your foot. a chart for figuring out lengths for foot sizes is here. you're almost done! the toe of the sock is fairly simple.
round 1: on needle 1 knit to the last 3 stitches, knit 2 together, knit one. on needle 2 knit one, slip one and knit one, then pass the slipped stitch over the knit one and off the needle. knit to the last 3 stitches on needle 2, knit two together, and knit one. on needle 3 knit one, slip one, knit one, pass the slipped stitch over, knit the rest.
round 2: knit all
repeat these two rounds until you have eight stitches left.
to close the toe you do the kitchener stitch. i'll let someone else explain that.
yay, socks!

my favourite activity

2009-01-28T17:15:00.002-06:00

my little boy just had about 1/4 cup of light brown oil come out of his cornhole. off to google symptoms. oh, the joy.

sockly lessons learned.

2009-01-26T16:53:00.006-06:00

i'm finally finished knitting my hedera. they took all month. i hate learning experiences. why can't complicated skills be easier to learn? the way they do it on the matrix looks convenient. can you imagine the knitting equivalent of this?

those would be some kickass socks, i tell you.

while knitting these socks i learned a thing or two. three things, to be precise.
1. pay attention, especially if you're knitting lace or deviating from the pattern. if you forget where you are but keep knitting, bad things happen. holes and blank sections in the pattern and holes and uneven parts and holes. and holes. 2. don't try two new things at the same time. if you're knitting your first lace socks, don't clutter up your thought processes by making them your first toe-up socks, as well. pick one new skill per project. after realizing that you're in way over your head, if you decide to spontaneously modify the pattern, you're an idiot.
3. just because you get bored doesn't mean you can stop, even if you're going out of your skull and can't bear another 4-row repeat of this damned lace pattern. keep going or the unfinished socks will haunt you from the bottom of the bin where you hid them. just buckle down and do it. and maybe make them shorter than you had originally planned, by a few inches. you know, for mental health's sake.

today i'm starting some straightforward, easy socks. ones in bulkier yarn so they knit up quickly. ones that i don't have to look at while i work on. ski socks for my dad's birthday, even. i can't wait. bring on the ridiculously simple!

nora, these are for you if you want them, llama llove. i don't know if they'll fit, but i made them in your foot size, i think.

product review: honey nut cheerios

2009-01-25T14:18:00.003-06:00

here's a product review to make up for yesterday's silliness. this review will be short, positive, and unsullied my photographic nonsense.

i really like honey nut cheerios. i only eat them a couple of times a year, thanks to the whole not-buying-milk thing, but when we have both milk and cereal and the stars are aligned, i can't get enough of their sweet, crunchy-then-soggy goodness. soluble fibre, artificial nut flavouring... what more does a cereal need? the excessive sweetness makes the roof of my mouth go numb for a while, each time i consume a bowl. plus i'm lactose intolerant so my forays into the world of cereal-eating always result in serious, toxic gas.

i don't like other types of cheerios, or other types of cereal, or most breakfast foods, even. but honey nut cheerios are special.

i'd go on for longer about the merits of my treasured oaty o's of goodness, but we have milk and honey nut cheerios in the house, so i can't stay in any one spot for too long. the fumes emanating from my ass get to me.

but while we're talking about being a fan, check it out: this blog has its own fanpage on facebook. yeah, it's a pointless exercise in self-promotion, but you should still become a fan of 584.
it looks like linking to the fan page doesn't work. if you really want to be a facebook fan, log in, type '584' into the box on the top right corner of your screen, and select 'pages' from the tabs above the list of choices. you'll see it.

product review: cafe mocha coffe-mate (with extraneous pictures!!)

2009-01-24T11:16:00.019-06:00

why is it that i only review products i hate?normally i boycott nestle. they're right up there near monsanto on the list of evil corporations. i miss my coffee crisp and aero bars, though. why can't a local, fair-trade based company start making those? alas.

anyways, my partner thought he'd get me a treat and picked me up a bottle of nestle cafe mocha coffee-mate. i usually drink international delights flavoured creamers in my coffee, since we don't buy milk. they make the intense, delicious coffee we drink sweet and extra delicious. not healthy, but whatever. i don't have to justify myself to you.

so, to the review:

this stuff, when tasted on its own, tastes like oversweet chocolate milk. i guess they didn't get the memo that 'mocha' implies coffee flavouring, but whatever. and it's a dairy-free product, so the fact that it tastes to similar to milk is creepy. it contains:

WATER,
SUGAR,
HYDROGENATED COCONUT OIL,
SODIUM CASEINATE,
FLAVOUR AND ARTIFICIAL FLAVOUR, (no appropriate image found)
DIPOTASSIUM PHOSPHATE,
COCOA,
SALT,
MONOGLYCERIDES,
ACETYLATED TARTARIC ACID ESTERS OF MONO- AND DIGLYCERIDES,
CARRAGEENAN.

um, yuck? yeah, yuck. gross.

this creamer makes your coffee taste like there is chocolate milk in it. oversweet chocolate milk. it's not a horrible taste, but it's really nothing special and definitley not enough justification to consume all those ingredients listed above. if i want chocolate milk in my coffee i'll get chocolate milk and put it in my coffee.

plus, it all sinks to the bottom of the mug, no matter how fast you drink it, making the last mouthful into a cringe-inducing mouthful of disgusting sweetness.

so if you're out grocery shopping and this tasty-looking creamer catches your eye, keep walking. but if you're sipping your coffee and start wishing for a more expensive, less healthy and less ethical version of chocolate milk to put in it, nestle has just the thing for you!

book review: driving sideways

2009-01-22T10:33:00.004-06:00

driving sideways by jess riley is a novel about a 20-something woman with a serious medical condition who heads out into the wild blue yonder, looking for adventure. leigh, the protagonist, is quirky, smart, funny, and has an endless supply of pop culture references with which to pepper her observations. she is dealing with heavy shit, but she does her best to stay upbeat in spite of it all.

the book is entertaining and educational. the characters are sympathetic and well developed. i wouldn't claim it's the best novel i've ever read, but it's the best one i've read so far in 2009. i'd give it 8/10. go ahead and read it. the book probably won't change your life, but you won't regret the time you spent, either.

yesterday my partner and i were driving around, running errands. we took turns sitting in the car with the babies while the other ran into the store/ library/ whatever and got stuff done. that way we don't have to pay for parking. i'd brought this book with me. my partner, naturally, asked about it. i started to summarize and review it for him, and he looked a little surprised. he'd assumed, from looking at the cover:
that it was a fluffy chicklit book with no literary merit whatsoever. that pissed me right off. not that he assumed that, since it was a pretty safe assumption, given the chicklitty cover, but that so often good books that happen to be written by women and feature women (especially if the protagonist is single) get given these covers and get marketed as fluff. plenty of men and women who would love the book skip over it based on the feminine cover. my partner would, he admitted. so would many of my female friends. it's sexist and screwed up that books about single women can't be taken seriously as mainstream fiction. grrrrr.

i used to get embarrassed about reading books with pink and/ or images of lithe, feminine body parts on the cover. i didn't want my partner, friends, or strangers on the bus to assume that i read brainless fluff.* it was a conscious decision on my part to stop hiding what i'm reading or skip over books with girly covers. the publishing world has set things up in a sexist, discriminatory way, and i won't go along with it. so now i proudly read whatever i want to and if anyone so much as raises an eyebrow at me i educate them about the sexism that is rampant in the publishing business. just like i've done here, in these two paragraphs. i call it lecture activism. or preachiness. or giving innocent victims an earful.

*i do enjoy the occasional foray into the world of true chicklit. i don't have tv and sometimes my brain needs a holiday. i have nothing at all in common with the shopaholic, for example, but do most viewers have that much in common with the characters on the sitcoms they watch?

garden planning do's and dont's

2009-01-20T06:17:00.007-06:00

it's that time of year again! my seed catalogs have arrived in the mail and i'm about to get madly carried away with all the gardening i'd love to do. last year i signed up for several community garden patches, plus my own yard, plus committing to being a significant presence on my friend's farm. in the end i gardened in my own yard. full stop. so to keep my eyes from getting waaay bigger than my gardening capacity, here are some practical tips.

do plan ahead. the last thing you want is for planting time to come and for you to have no seedlings ready.
don't plant enough seedlings for an 80 acre farm.

do measure your plot(s) so you can draw up a plan when you're figuring out what seeds to order
don't wait until there are four feet of snow then realize that you're an idiot.

do create a garden that you find interesting. why not plant purple tomatoes, purple lettuce, purple carrots, purple beans, purple potatoes and white beets?
don't stick just to the varieties of produce that you can get at the grocery store. what's the point in putting all this work in if you could pick up identical food down the street?

do compost. a compost bin provides the best fertilizer you could ask for, and costs only your kitchen and garden scraps. it reduces the amount of garbage going to the landfill and feeds your garden.
don't keep cramming things into your compost bin when it gets full. when tightly packed, compost can't decompose properly and so you'll end with a useless monument to ecofriendliness instead of a soil-producing ecomachine.

do try growing plants that don't suit your climate in the winter, but are happy in pots. i have two types of hot pepper plant that have been cheerfully providing me with tasty little peppers all winter long. also a banana tree and a guava tree that are growing steadily and will one day feed me. cumquats, cherry tomatoes, and many exotic flowers love to summer outside and winter indoors near a sunny window.
don't forget about herbs - my kitchen windowsill has been home to a happy, productive basil plant for ~6 years.

do read up on lasagne beds, square foot gardening, companion planting, container gardening, and upside down tomato plants.
don't get all crazy trying ten million new things at once. keep it simple. try new things, but don't get in over your head. there are a zillion cool-sounding techniques out there, and most won't work for you. a few will, with fantastic results.

do find a local, independently owned source for your seeds. if they're based near where you live, they'll know what grows well in your area and have good tips for you
don't buy seeds from the grocery store or hardware store or any big, mainstream seed company. they're all monsanto. even a lot of the smaller companies are just subsidiaries of monsanto. and monsanto is seriously, purely evil. they're one of the largest corporations on the planet and they make wal mart look like a model corporate citizen. learn about them, yo. then refuse to give them your money. (they already get lots of it; most normal produce, as well as the corn, wheat & soybeans that are in 99.99999% of processed foods are made of come from monsanto plants)

do plant things that you like to eat and feel capable of growing
don't grow all carrots and beets just because they're easy. beans are easy, too. diversify, baby.

do have a plan for preserving the bounty of your garden
don't plant twenty heads of lettuce on the same day so they all come ripe on the same day and you end up eating nothing but lettuce for a week and still have to throw most of it away

do buy heirloom seeds. they're basically horticultural activism made easy. most seeds you see in stores and mainstream catalogs are patented and bred or modified to be sterile, so you can't save the seeds from one year to plant the next. monsanto owns most of these. heirloom seeds are ones that have been saved by regular people, mostly, for decades or centuries. they often look really cool and taste amazing. experiment with different tomatoes, especially.
don't buy thirty different types of heirloom tomato seed when you only have thirty square feet to plant in. i know they look cool and it's hard to choose, but bite the bullet and narrow down your selections.

do make your seedling pots. learn how to make an origami box and fold non-glossy flyers and newsapaper into seed starter-sized squares. or cut a toilet paper roll in half, then fold together one end of each half.
don't buy peat pots. they're convenient, but at a great ecological price. if you really want to throw money away on seed starter pots, buy coir. it's made of the hair on coconuts. how cool is that?

do start more plants than you'll actually need. expect casualties. some seeds don't grow, some succumb to baby plant illnesses, some seedlings are killed by pests as soon as they're transplanted outdoors, some wait a week and get kille by cutworms...
don't try to plant every seedling you grow. i know that composting a perfectly good young plant feels like murder, but overcrowding is a bad idea. overcrowded tomatoes & corn don't produce, overcrowded carrots & beets need thinning over and over, so it's less labour-intensive to just plant them spaced out to begin with, overcrowded beans choke each other and everything else out - just don't overcrowd, ok? err on the side of too much space between plants.

do plant strategically. carrots and beets are happy in darker, damper places, as long as they aren't too dark or damp. tomatoes and peppers need as much light as possible.

this is my plan. the top of the picture points south. because the garage blocks the sun for most of that big patch, i put mostly root crops there. all the other areas get plenty of light, so they're full of plants that love the sun. see how i've put thin rows of things together? i can put a row of root crops in front of tomato plants because they don't steal the tomatoes' light, being short and all. then behind the tomatoes (or peppers) i can put a trellis with beans or a row of sunflowers or corn, since those are all tall enough to get the light they need, regardless of the other plants. after everything is planted i go back and wedge more beets & carrots into whatever corners i can. i grow a lot of those, since i like to make vats of beet borscht and can them for winter consumption. cheaper, healthier and tastier than stupid campbell's slop.
don't make the same mistakes over and over. i make pickles, but do you seen cucumbers anywhere on that chart? squash, pumpkins, and cukes need a lot of room, and i don't have that. after my cukes overgrew their area last year i decided to stick to more decorous plants.

do grow organically. your body, your wallet and your planet will thank you. it's not that hard, honestly.
don't grow unorganically. i'm serious about this, folks. those chemicals are literally toxic. you really don't need them.

do have fun
don't make it a chore - gardening is meant to be exercise, a source of cheap, healthy food, and relaxing. if something goes wrong, that's ok. learn from it and move on. there's always next year.

for the love of winning

2009-01-17T22:01:00.001-06:00

i'm entering a contest here. you should, too.

how to be a square and a heel

2009-01-17T12:00:00.004-06:00

i'm not happy with the socks i'm making. these are my reasons.

the foot of the sock is really narrow. i have high arches and suspect that these socks won't fit around my feet comfortably. i'm not making them for me, but i don't think they'll fit anyone. they're pretty, though.

i'm trying out a new heel. it's a bitch. first i did it wrong and it looked like this:
see the little flap on the right side of the needles? that's supposed to be the heel. do you know anyone with a flat, tapering growth on the back of their heel?
this shows the growth better. it looks like something vaguely obscene to me. a sock's private part. anyways, i tore it out. i hate undoing what i've knit, normally i just keep going and live with a flawed knit object. but this particular flaw would make the sock unwearable. i heaved a sigh and tore it out.

after the first heel i followed the instructions religiously. there was no way i was going to redo these babies more than once. but the pattern (lifestyle toe-up instructions) betrayed me. see, socks are supposed to have a gusset to make them foot-shaped. a triangle of fabric that helps them fit better. (it's the lightened part of the purple sock) the peach sock is more like a 90 degree angle in a pipe. now look at your foot. does it look like a pipe elbow to you? yes? i've got some socks for you!
so i'll finish the socks, because i can't not finish, but i'm not using the toe-up method again. not until these instructions apologze and make amends.

i hope the intended recipient has bizarrely shaped feet she's never told me about.

~*~

in other news, my non-condom hat is progressing. i like the colour and the texture and all that. but my friend pointed out yesterday that i have a green coat, green boots and i often wear green pants. now i feel torn about my cool green hat. maybe i should branch out a little, colour-wise.

anyways, i had an idea, inspired by this from craft:. it's headphones built into headwear. personally, i hate trying to keep my earbuds in my ears when i'm wearing a toque. they only stay if i hold very still. annoying. this hat will have earflaps and be lined with microfleece, with an old pair of headphones built in. the wire can go inside the cord that dangles from an earflap. what could be better?

off to a protest then for some food. have a great day, peeps!

about a boy (or two)

2009-01-14T11:34:00.003-06:00

this morning i'm really frustrated with my kids, so i'm going to ignore them while i post positive things about them. when my attitude has been improved by all this positivity i'll go interact with them again and hopefully not want to kill them any more.
(just so you know, they're merrily munching chunks of cheddar cheese while i sit and stare at this screen. they aren't starting fires or harming each other at the moment)

lately my boys have been blossoming, creatively. the baby has started being interested in drawing, the boy has been making up stories, and both of them are brimming over with silliness. for example, a few days ago the boy told me that his feet can't cry because they don't have eyes or a mouth. out came the jiffy marker, then out came the camera. the kids spent the rest of the day making their feet interact. (the boy wanted sad feet so i made the baby's feet happy to balance things out)

they've both been really into playing pretend, these days. my boy didn't play pretend when he was 1.5, but he didn't have a big brother to imitate and emulate. they are most frequently jedi, sith, spidermen or supermen, but they also become gollums, treebeards, puppies, trains, tiggers... yeah. they pretend a lot. and they're really into costumes. they have a variety of cool hats, and a couple of masks. today they were the dark knight and a panda.

they don't actually play in the masks, since they can't see anything, but that's better for me. i only ever get blurry shots when they're jumping around with invisible lightsabers, fighting the forces of evil. (or good)

in case this post wasn't cute enough for you, my boy came up to me after breakfast and said,

"jar jar binks is in a movie, not some peoples' boobs"

i asked him to repeat himself a few times to make sure he'd really said something so incredibly random, and yes, that's what he said. so in case you're wondering....

"jar jar binks is in a movie, not some peoples' boobs"

~*~

i want some better code names for my sons. i can't keep blogging about 'the boy' and 'they baby', since the baby is almost done with babyhood and often does some very boylike things. i could call them 'the monkey' and 'the puppy', but i think cute animal comparisons are overdone, when it comes to little kids. i could use their initals (jad and ez-d) or... ideas?

ok, i'm ready to go play nice.

making everything except news. and babies. and some other stuff.

2009-01-13T22:43:00.003-06:00

things have been pretty business-as-usual around here. we've stayed holed up at home as much as possible, given the ridiculous cold outside.
i'm planning a trip to toronto with the kids in april and so am already scheming what to get at ikea. it's an illness, i can't help it.
my baby has been singing the star wars theme song (very off key and off tune, unbearably cute) and is obsessed with yoda. we only have one book with a picture of yoda, so he carries it around with him all the time, open to the page with his hero, and crows 'yaya! yaya!'. i want to bottle up his sweetness and keep it forever.

i forgot to post about it at the time, but in december i made this cape for my boy's friend's birthday. i'm pretty pleased with it. it's a cut up t shirt, with the star made out of old jeans. so it's 99% recycled materials. (the 1% is the embroidery thread. i'm not that hardcore)
my son has one of these and he loves it. he wears it all the time. they're so simple to make, and bring such joy to little people. i am definitley a fan of the diy cape.
the cape is being modeled by my baby, who, as of last night, is nightweaning. it's either that or get him a cow to sleep under so he can drink all night. i'm not willing to be his night cow any longer. the kid plays hard all day and goes to bed starved, and so nurses all night. he's 18 months old. old enough to eat during the day and let his mama sleep at night. he is firmly anti-nightweaning. he's made his opinion known. he expressed it all night last night and i'm sure he will again tonight. we'll probably have a desperately miserable week, but then much, much better sleep after that. until he gets a cold and i feel bad for him and so nurse him at night and we have to re-nightwean him. seriously, it never ends. never.

warning: this is not a giant wool condom, no matter what kara tells you. that is not a reservoir tip. it will not prevent pregnancy or sti's. please do not attempt intercourse with it.
actually, i'm making myself a hat. the lace socks, while fabulous looking, have gotten tedious so i decided to break it up with a quick, easy project. i don't much like my current toque (americans call them beanies or watchcaps. i'm not american) so i'm making one with this beautiful green yarn. it will have earflaps. i might even line it with microfleece, depending. i hate sewing, but added warmth is welcome when the forecast is for -55 tomorrow.

for dinner tonight we had my incredible, famous, delicious spicy orange tofu. it's my favourite way to cook tofu and no matter how much i make there are never leftovers. and you're in luck, i'm going to share the recipe.

phenomenal spicy orange tofu
1. start your rice cooking. use 1/2 water and 1/2 orange juice if you want it to be extra delicious. use all the spices listed below if you want to fall over with pleasure when you eat your meal.

2. chop a block of drained tofu into bite sized pieces. rabbit or chicken work well with this, too, i guess, but then you'd have to change the name, and that might get complicated. it's best to stick to tofu. anyways, saute the tofu (or whatever) in some oil, with garlic and/or onions if you're so inclined.

3. while the tofu becomes golden and delicious (or the meat cooks, i guess, you bloodthirsty carnivore) mix together
2/3 cups of orange juice
1 tsp paprika
1/2 tsp cinnamon
2 tsp brown sugar
1/2 tsp ground cumin
salt
cayenne (if kids and wimps are eating this limit yourself to 1/4 tsp of cayenne, if you're making it for me use at least 1 tsp, preferrably more)
chopped veggies (whatever you have around. today i had nothing in the fridge so i used frozen peas, carrots & corn, and that was fine) (beets do not taste good in this meal)
4. when the tofu is perfectly cooked pour in the juice & spice & veggie over the tofu, and stir until everything is nicely mixed. cover it and let it simmer for a bit, stirring every now and then.
5. take the lid off when the tofu has soaked up the sauce. let it simmer for another minute or two, just to thicken it.
6. serve with the rice.

mmmmmmm.

the boy's health news, jan '09 edition

2009-01-09T23:35:00.004-06:00

i haven't updated on my boy's health in a while. it's a major saga, so i'll recap first.

when he was 6 months old he stopped gaining weight. babies often slow down their growth around then, so we weren't panicked, but we were keeping an eye on him.

at 1 year i had to go back to work so he went to daycare. he started getting sick at least once a week (colds, etc) and had major digestive issues.

at 15 months i had to quit being the sole breadwinner to keep him home, since he still hadn't gained any weight and looked like a skeleton.

a month later i tried eliminating gluten from his diet and within a week he was digesting food properly, his bloated belly had flattened out, and he was much happier. he gradually started gaining weight.

all through this time we were seeing doctors and trying to get some help for him, but hitting dead ends. when i cut gluten from his diet the doctor accused me of dietary neglect. i got a dietitian to sign something saying that his diet was fine to keep the doctor from reporting me to the child welfare people, then quit taking him to the doctor for a while.

since then he's gradually put on weight and grown. when he's exposed to even trace amounts of gluten, even if he inhales it, he gets really sick for three days. he also seems to have a compromised immune system. he picks up every stray bug that comes his way. i've found that if i keep him at home he gets sick much less often, so we stay home pretty constantly. it isn't fun or exciting, but i can't handle the excitement of him being sick all the time. we've also gotten a new, better doctor, and started seeing specialists. he's had a zillion examinations and tests and no one has any idea what's wrong with him. they've ruled out several things, including celiac disease. we're still pursuing a diagnosis, but we're encountering mostly indifference from the medical community, so it's frustrating. i don't know if they don't believe me or think i'm exaggerating or what, but they don't seem to be that serious about figuring out what's wrong with my boy.

the update:

in december he got a bad cold and a cold sore, which developed into open, festering sores all over his lips, the inside of his mouth, and down his throat.

here he is on christmas eve, when he was starting to get better.

he literally didn't eat anything for a week, and he lost a lot of weight. he didn't have any weight to spare to begin with, and now he looks like one of the kids from world vision infomercials, minus the flies. and his body has been acting like it has gluten poisoning for the past two weeks, but with no apparent triggers. and he's suddenly not toilet trained at night any more, plus he's having bladder control issues during the day. something is wrong.
i don't want to take him to the doctor's, he gets sick every time we go there. but he's sick, anyways... i don't feel like asking the doctor, again, to help us figure this out is particularly productive. i'm just not sure what else to do, and doing nothing is obviously not helping him. it's really discouraging.

after all his weight loss i've been fanatical about stuffing him with as many calories as i can, most of them fats. he's been eating a delightful mixture of applesauce and lard. think creamy, faintly bacon-y applesauce. yum. lucky for me he has no idea that most people don't eat this crap, so he chows down obligingly.

anyone have any brilliant ideas?

a recipe from above.

2009-01-08T11:01:00.006-06:00

i have a friend. she doesn't know about this blog so i can't use any identifying details, but lets just say that she's pure of heart and righteous of spirit. she was chosen as a sacred vessel... maybe i should tell this story.

so my friend was doing something sacred and chaste like singing hymns or doing laundry or facebooking or something, when an angel of the lord appeared to her.

'be not afraid!' the angel thundered reassuringly. 'you have been chosen by the mightiest of deities to deliver his/her manhattan chowder recipe to the people of the world!'

then a glowing scrap of paper appeared in her hands. my friend's holy eyes scanned the paper and said 'oh, cool, i have all the ingredients.... um, except the clams. i'll get some when i pick the kids up from school. thanks!' but when she looked back up the angel was gone, and when she looked back down the paper had stopped glowing and she noticed that it was part of the envelope from an unsolicited credit card offer that had come in the mail the day before. the supreme deity reuses before recycling, my friend mused.

that night she made the soup. it was quick and easy and tasted good. the next day she heated up some of the leftovers, and it was freaking awesome. she tried it cold, and it was perfectly edible. 'so,' she thought to herself, 'this is a soup that tastes better the next day.'

my friend smiled to herself.

in the coming weeks my friend made the soup often, and it was always well recieved, even by her son, who is an insanely picky eater. (i've babysat him, and the kid likes cooked spaghetti noodles with a little parmesan cheese on them as a meal. nothing else.)

the holidays came and my friend and her family were planning to travel to visit family. my friend emptied her fridge of perishables (sushi! milk! lettuce!) and brought them to my house, since we were in the middle of our month-long illness. included in the bounty was a sour cream container with leftover manhattan clam chowder.

that night, in between the boy crying himself to sleep and the baby waking up covered in puke, i sat down with the container of soup, cold. i couldn't risk the microwave waking up the little sickos, but i hadn't eaten anything all day, since it had been a hellish nonstop sickfest. and the glory of the soup was revealed unto me. and deliciousness and wholesome fillingness shone around.

i bribed another friend to finangle the recipe for me, and made it last night. here it is.

chop and fry in a bit of oil:
a medium onion
1 cup of chopped celery
a clove or two of garlic
when onion translucent, add:
a potato or three, cubed
2 cups of boiling water or stock

simmer for ~15 minutes or until potatoes are tender.
then add:

1-2 cups of chopped up tomatoes and liquid
1 can of clams with liquid
1t thyme
salt and pepper to taste

simmer another 10 minutes.

we love seafood 'round these parts, so i used two cans of clams and their juice, minus the several that i ate straight out of the can while making it. you can never have enough clams. that's my motto. i also used a whole huge jar of tomatoes. and an extra potato. so i guess i doubled the recipe or something. that's fine, double the sanctity! more food from less cooking!

so cook it! enjoy it! and when you copy it out into your recipe box, title it 'divine manhattan clam chowder sent from above', ok?

breakable

2009-01-07T01:04:00.005-06:00

this evening my partner started to read to me the article associated with wikipedia's picture of the day. some bug that lays its eggs strategically so that the newborn larvae can devour... i made him stop. it was making me really sad.

bug cruelty, sad books left unfinished, crying at songs and pictures and thoughts... what's going on with me? i'm not pregnant and i don't have pms. but i have been keeping up with the news coming from the middle east. it's affecting me deeply. physically. i'm a mess, emotionally. i'm not sleeping well, and it isn't just the baby's fault. my shoulder muscles are rock-hard and in pain. and i feel horribly guilty for complaining about these things; the people in gaza are dying.

white phosphorus, depleted uranium, cluster bombs. after years of systematic deprivation and degradation, interspersed with air attacks, israel is invading gaza on foot. hospitals, universities, and homes are becoming mass graves. i don't care if you support hamas or not, this isn't even remotely any way to treat a population.

the western world owes the jewish people a debt of guilt for their silence and complicity in the holocaust. we also owe such a debt to homosexuals, gypsies, people of colour, pacifists and the handicapped, and i don't see that being paid, but i digress. silence and inaction were, effectively, permission for millions of people to be rounded up and slaughtered. it was a wrong of inexpressable depth. but does this mean that the world needs to stand aside and allow aparthied, collective punishment and genocide to take place, as a way of making amends? i understand that north america's 'special relationship' with israel is about more than just the holocaust, but that's the seed from which it grew, from the little that i understand. but no matter what, nothing justifies our inaction. innocent people are being slaughtered while the western world sits on its hands. as usual.

i desperately wrack my brain for something, anything i can do. my mp is tired of hearing from me. everyone i know has been made aware. a protest has been attended. the situation goes around and around in my anxiety-ridden brain. i check the news obsessively. it all means nothing; i am powerless in the face of such a huge evil. it's fucking depressing.

for those who really want to know, read here and here.

a lazy sunday: book review, recipe & photos

2009-01-05T10:25:00.005-06:00

yesterday it was -40 and my partner was stuck at work, thanks to car trouble. so from the time we woke up until bedtime, the boys and i were on our own, housebound. plus the internet was down.
it was cold. hell-ass cold.

and, as we all know, the best thing to do when it's cold is make some delicious from-scratch chili that simmers its way to perfection over the course of the day. mine was made with garden black beans, farmers market veggies and lots of love.

we filled our day. there were stories read, naps taken, snacks munched, tickles,

songs hummed, (ani's present/infant, from her new album) (<-- track 3) blocks stacked, star wars watched ( the return of the jedi. yoda, jabba, darth vader and ewoks all in the same movie? plus a space battle? my kids think they've died and gone to heaven) and coffee sipped thoughtfully. i also made farmers market/ garden salsa. here's how.

in the summer i gathered cilantro, onions, garlic, lemon juice, salt and hot peppers and threw them all in the blender. when the mixture was liquefied and burned my sinuses if i inhaled too close to it, i divided it up into baggies and froze them.
i also processed a mountain of fresh corn and tomatoes and green peppers.
yesterday i thawed a baggie of the salsa base, plus tomatoes and corn and green peppers. if i could have left the house i would have gotten avocado.
i chopped the green peppers and tomatoes and mixed them into the base with the corn. then i pulled out the tortilla chips. i also mixed in some blue cheese, but many people would find that gross. many people are wrong.

i've been reading a cure for grief by nellie hermann. i'm not sure if i'll finish it. it's a good book - the author is clearly well educated and an adept writer. the pace is good, the prose is sparse and direct, the characters are relatable... but i feel like a peeping tom. the book is obvoiusly a thinly veiled autobiography. (the author's biography and the book match nearly perfectly.)

a cure for grief is 272 pages of pain. the protagonist lives through tradgedy after tradgedy, and every moment of her agony is expressed on the pages. it's not melodramatic or cheesy, at all. heartwrenching is more the word. and intensely personal. i feel guilty about reading something so private. hermann is a master of the english language andhas phenomenal skill as a writer, but this book is too visceral and too real to be read as entertainment.

of course, i can't read and drink coffee (and red wine mixed with cranberry juice) without knitting. my first project of 2009 was chosen to test my knitterly skills. i'm making hedera, from knitty. i'm over the moon that they're turning out. keeping track of a 4-row lace pattern when the little dudes are calling my attention away from the needles every few seconds is a real feat, i believe. on top of the complex stitch pattern, i though i'd try knitting these socks two at a time, toe-up. that's working out so far, too. and after so long using yarns i didn't like, dream in color's smooshy is pure bliss. the yarn is sproingy and soft and knits up quickly into a dense, smooth fabric with a subtle sheen. i'm not crazy about the colour, but the yarn itself is fantastic.
i haven't decided yet who i am making these for. on the one hand, i would love to show them off to everyone i see the way i've bragged on them here. then again, i don't have any nice shoes that would showcase them and so i'd have to pull off my boots or runners every time i wanted people to see them, and people might view me askance if i started pulling off my footwear on the bus and in the library and post office and grocery store. plus i'm not crazy about the colour. i don't have to decide just yet, i have a few more hours' work until i'm at the point where i decide what size they will be. you have until then to state your case in the comments.

2008: a retrospective

2008-12-31T10:58:00.004-06:00

thinking back, it's hard to remember what i did this year. nothing, mostly. a lot of sitting around. i'm usually too tired to feel capable of anything, so i sit in this chair and read blogs and webcomics and message boards. it's not a good use of my time, but what else can i do? i end up frustrated and angry when i try to challenge myself when i've had very little sleep. so a lot of this year was pissed away. that sucks, but it's not something that i have a lot of control over.

a year or maybe a bit more ago i realized that this whole stay-at-home gig wasn't about to end anytime soon and bitching about it was only making me depressed. in 2008 i tried to make the best of it and be the best goddamn housewife the world has ever seen. i knit, cooked, canned, butchered, gardened, wiped asses, read stories, came up with activities, cleaned... you name it, i tried my hand at it in 2008. i learned a few things about myself in the process.

i hate doing childcare. hate it. my kids are great in small doses, i can read to them and tickle them and wipe their tears... but all day, every day, and every night? fuck, no. keeping them fed and clean(ish) and entertained and mediating their conflicts wears away at me and pisses me off. i spend a lot of time just wanting them to go away. unfortunately, childcare is my primary activity. fuck. all i can really do about this is wait as patiently as i can for them to get old enough to start school and, hopefully, one day start sleeping through the night. i hate that i have this attitude because one day they won't be so small and cute and they won't want to snuggle with me. i don't want to waste these years with my impatience and irritability. i don't want them to remember me as the mama who just wanted them to go away. so i really do try hard to be a good, attentive mother. but as i read them the same stupid book for the ten millionth time, i keep an eye on the clock.

cooking, cleaning and laundry i can handle. they're mindless activities that need doing. cleaning is a pretty quick way to get satisfying results. cooking can be fun, if no one is pulling at my legs. laundry... whatever. it's fast and i like clean undies. i can't stand cleaning the kitchen, so it stays dirty. problem solved!

gardening, canning and knitting make me happy. i love making things, especially useful things. these aren't often considered to be serious art forms, but they're the closest i get these days. i don't miss painting and doing metalwork when i'm gardening. canning is a little more tedious, but the resulting rows of jars fill me with as much pride as any ring or painting ever did. knitting is sort of a mix - i liken it to making jewelry. the conception and planning of a project is where the creativity is - choosing materials and a pattern or design. then comes the drudgery, where i use the skills i have and acquire whatever new ones i need to create the object. the finishing touches and cleanup always make me feel glow-y. unless the project didn't work out the way i wanted, and then i walk around muttering curses for a while, then start over.

metalwork is more prone to creating income, but it takes lengthy, formal training and a lot of expensive equipment. knitting is less impressive to an outsider, but it's a more affordable art, and one that i can practice while my kids play. and it doesn't cause serious health problems in fetuses. one day i hope to get back into jewellerymaking, but until then knitting is an acceptable substitute.

four book reviews for the price of one

2008-12-29T23:06:00.002-06:00

the library hasn't seen my face in weeks. in fact, the only outings i've gone on in the past few weeks are to the grocery store and to the drug store. food and cold meds, that's all my house needs these days. books can wait. *sigh*

but my compulsion to read hasn't disappeared just because my source of reading material is temporarily out of reach. so i've made do. and between the internet and the shelves of books i've picked up at thrift stores and never actually read, i'm doing ok, i guess. i'm writing this so i must not have become illiterate during my holiday from new, interesting books.

books reviews 1, 2 and 3: the twilight series by stephenie meyer
my friends were raving about them so i gave them a shot. i thought they might be like the harry potter books, which i think mostly lived up to the hype. i don't feel like these books did. they just didn't grab me. i think a 15 year old version of myself would have been spellbound by them, (and not allowed to read them) but it just didn't feel like the books reached across the aisle to the adult audience the way rowling's books did. they were enjoyable, but not particularly gripping or memorable. obvoiusly many readers feel differently from the way i do, but that's cool. i can live with that. too bad those other readers are wrong.

book 4: i am not spock by leonard nimoy
i got it in a thrift store for a dime and gave it to my partner for xmas. leonard nimoy's autobiography - what's not to love?
a fair amount, actually. this isn't a book that will be showing up in literature anthologies, hundreds of years from now. but, to be fair, for a celebrity author he's not bad. granted, i'm comparing him to pamela anderson, but still.
i think trekkies probably love this book and people who have a good grasp of sci-fi tv culture would enjoy it, but i've only seen an episode or two of star trek and only have the vaguest grasp of the whole thing. so when nimoy started talking about some klingon death pinch, i got confused, which led to boredom, which led to me putting the book down and going to bed early.
meh, it'll get a chuckle out of the people who are browsing the livingroom bookshelf.

a whiny list

2008-12-22T11:28:00.004-06:00

6 - six days of constant crying from the boy. he's in agony. all i can do is give him nyquil and hope he cries himself to sleep. and by 'constant crying' i mean constant crying. he only stops to sleep. and he often screams in his sleep. all day, every day, he ranges between a droning cry and piercing shrieks of pain. to say my nerves are shattered is a vast understatement. oh, and his face smells strongly of rotting meat. yum.

5 - the number of firemen that came over yesterday. not for tea and crumpets. our house filled scarily with smoke and we called 911. the firemen came and hunted all over the house for the source, then figured it must have been a dust bunny that got into the furnace, and left. not coincidentally, i didn't sleep well last night. and not just because my kids were up and down like screaming, crying yoyos all night.

4 - four projects i've made with my dishcloth cotton. these socks,

a pair of baby legwarmers, and two dishcloths. actually, the legwarmers are 3/4 done. i am so sick of this yarn. sure, it's washable, hypoallergenic, cheap, and soft, but it's also deadly boring, a pain to knit with, and makes this squeaky feeling with the needles. i am craving some other yarn - any other yarn. i'm rushing through the last of that last legwarmer so i can make a hat or a slipper. i have one slipper, and i'd like another. my left foot gets jealous of its counterpart. but my toque is boring and navy blue, i'd rather look a little more stylin' when i shovel the mountains of snow that build up, making the front gate unopenable.

3 - the boy has lost at least three pounds in the past week, thanks to his inability to eat. it has taken him a couple of years to get to the point where he doesn't feel like a skeleton with some skin, but he's back to that point. he literally looks like the famine victim kids you see on infomercials for world vision. send this kid some body fat, somebody, please.

2 - two days that the baby has been healthy for. prior to that he was scarily feverish, couldn't breathe, and was performing nonstop crying duets with his brother. also he puked like some sort of crazy puking machine. i'm glad that machine hasn't been invented. my parner would probably get it for me as an ill-advised joke. the baby is still a fountain of snot, but i can handle that.

1 - one day left until we celebrate the holidays. my partner is working over the actual holidays, so we've fooled the gullible minions into thinking that santa is coming tonight. we've cut out most of our plans so that we don't rush the sick, miserable boy around trying to cram in all the christmas cheer. presents and food and hopefully naps. oh, and a bottle of wine. and some rum. sounds good to me.

dec 19th, late at night

2008-12-20T00:27:00.005-06:00

my partner just got caught up on my blog while i sat nearby, knitting a sock for my boy. i like being around when he reads it so i can hear what parts he chuckles at and see what parts his face gets a little stony at. here's what i learned:

he skips recipe posts
he skims the book reviews, looking for anything that we haven't already discussed. i'm a communicator, so my written reviews have not yet sparked any further literary conversations.
he isn't excited about being depicted to the blogosphere as a roller skater. he didn't say what he'd prefer, but i suspect that he'd rather i tell you that he has amazing ninja skills that he hones upstairs. or he's built a ramp and is becoming a pro skateboarder. or that he's taken up the electric guitar and is putting jimi hendrix to shame. whatever, dude. in my eyes you will always be a rollerskater. more specifically, this roller skater:

but maybe a little more like this:

i'll get to it eventually

2008-12-15T19:18:00.003-06:00

i had intended to write a review for miriam toews' the flying troutmans, but there has been a change of plans. my baby is sick. i've put down my book and my knitting and curled around his little body, feeling the heat radiate off him and hearing his laboured breathing and terrible cough. he has thrown up on me six times in the last 24 hours, and i'm sure he's not done. he has a droning cry that goes on and on, he's limp and he freaks out if i so much as shift in my seat. it's time to just sit and wait. and so i sit and wait.

today has brought some wonderful things. my friends are amazing; i will never feel alone with them posting photoshopped boob shots of themselves and insulting my mom. my partner has brought me indian food, chocolate croissants, mandarin oranges, very strong coffee, towels and change after change of clothes.

the thing that i contemplate the most as i spend hour after hour with the little guy is how wonderful this is. when my older son was this age he got sick every single week. he weighed nothing. i was almost fired because we constantly had to stay home from daycare because of his sicknesses. my baby, on the other hand, has no chronic medical issues. he has had colds a handful of times in his year and a half. he is a hefty little person. he(normally) laughs and dances and tries to keep up with his brother. a few days of congested misery i can handle.

i'll get you that review sooner or later.

book review: the 351 books of irma arcuri

2008-12-14T00:27:00.002-06:00

the 351 books of irma arcuri by david bajo

math, literature and sex dovetailed in a tight, complex narrative. the rare kind of book where if the reader zones out for a few minutes she needs to go back and re-read what she missed. not (always) because it makes gaps in the plot, but because otherwise she will miss out.

the writer obviously thinks, obviously reads, and obviously fucks. there is not a word of falsehood in this book - everything it contains has been felt and seen and experienced, and can be again.

it is my hope that this book is considered literature by the finest sort of readers, a century or two from now.

holiday music extravaganza

2008-12-12T12:09:00.004-06:00

until recently i hated the holidays. they sucked when i was a kid, so i have very few positive memories of christmas. i've dreaded the expense, the fuss, the disappointment... overall i've just wished that december didn't happen.

i don't want that for my kids. i want them to love the holidays and to remember them as the best time, ever, when they're older. so i've had to get over my christmas-related negativity and get into the spirit. i may have gone overboard. it's been nonstop holiday cheer here since december 1, and i've been planning since october. a homemade advent calendar, daily holiday activities, a mountain of recipes for gluten free cookies...

and music. the christmas music starts each morning around 9 and doesn't stop until the babes go to bed. i've tried to have the longest, most diverse playlist possible to avoid holiday music fatigue, but i'm pretty sick of it already. i feel like i'm trapped in a mall in december. i need to add in some new stuff and mix it up.

i have:

joy electric (synth-pop-techno, irritatingly and unrelentingly cheerful)
boney m
the vienna boys' choir
the ramones
jack johnson
frank sinatra
the mormon tabernacle choir
otis redding
john lennon
nat king cole
some big band stuff
and i'm downloading some sufjan stevens on the recommendation of soulemama

what else can i add? mama needs a change, babies!

product review: olympus fe-220

2008-12-11T11:01:00.003-06:00

today i'll review my camera, the olympus fe-220.

DO NOT BUY THIS CAMERA. IF YOU SEE IT, RUN FAR, FAR AWAY. DO NOT BE TAKEN IN BY ITS PRETTY BLUE EXTERIOR. THAT MATTE BLUE CASING HOLDS A BAD, BAD CAMERA. DO NOT BUY THIS CAMERA.

so yeah, my camera is broken again. piece of shit. i've had it since april and it's been broken more often than it's been functioning during that time. it's still under warranty, but no matter how often i send it back, it just breaks again and again. i know exactly what doesn't work - the slot that fits the usb cable is really flimsy. the little thingie inside breaks so the usb cable can't connect. so they replace that part and return my camera, but then it breaks again within days of getting it back. i suggested that they just replace the piece of shit, but no. and it costs me 10$ in shipping every time i return it for servicing, so my bargain of a camera is becoming less of a bargain.

even if it didn't break all the time, it's not a good camera. it can't handle low light, takes blurry pictures most of the time, and it's not user friendly. of course, these annoyances are irrelevant since the stupid thing doesn't work. what i'm saying is that even if the camera weren't inherently defective, i still wouldn't like it.

fo'shizz, don't buy it.

book review: rapture ready

2008-12-10T22:18:00.003-06:00

i recently read rapture ready by daniel radosh, and it was good.

basically, a jewish writer explored the alternate universe that is christian pop culture. i liked it for many reasons:

it was a blast from the past. as a teenager i was steeped in christian pop culture. if music was secular or a book mentioned inappropriate topics i had to enjoy it secretly. as an alumni of christian youth culture, i can tell you that radosh was spot-on with his observations. also very evenhanded, given the occasional ridiculousness of his subject.
he's a fantastic writer. he has the rare gift of being able to step back and let people tell their own stories. huge chunks of the book are simply quotes from people he was interviewing. instead of taking what he was told by all these people and writing things up from his point of view, he just recorded their words. it made the book seem more objective and made the people he met easier to relate to - i could hear their voices and understand where they were coming from. yes, a christian pro wrestling circuit is ridiculous from almost anyone's standpoint, but after hearing from the guy in charge, i understood why he felt what he was doing was important.
the writer's jewish perspective added to my understanding of the world of christian culture. there were so many things that i took for granted when i was younger, then forgot when i became an apostate, but now i see them through daniel's culturally sensitive eyes and i realize how bigoted and hurtful so many evangelical assumptions and attitudes are. if he had been writing from a secular or christian viewpoint i would have probably failed to notice some of the institutionalized xenophobia.
it's laid out so clearly. each chapter is about one area of christian pop culture. the whole thing is arranged like an essay, but with chapters instead of paragraphs. it's all very clear and informative and definitley entertaining. it's similar in subject to a j jacobs' year of living biblically, but with less emphasis on the humour and the personal, and more emphasis on a comprehensive understanding of the topic on hand. radosh's clarity makes jacobs' writing seem like a chaotic mishmash. which it is not.
the faux-interview with stephen baldwin. freaking awesome. if you can't afford this book, just walk into a bookstore and turn to page 143 and read to the end of the chapter, piss your pants laughing, and walk back out.
it really is very funny, with flashes of dry humour and some outright silliness. don't let my extended ranting about the way he takes his subject seriously make you think that it isn't a fantastically funny book.

overall, i give the book ***** out of five stars. two thumbs up. i only wish it could have been longer.

coming to you from the upstairs bedroom

2008-12-10T09:32:00.003-06:00

i'm naked.

for as long as i've known him, my partner has talked about how what he really wants to do with his life is... um... he's asked that i not tell anyone his hobby. so we'll call it roller skating. so, yeah. he's always felt that his true calling is to roller skate. he's read about it, thought about it, taken the odd tentative step with roller skates on... mostly he's just talked about how much he'd like to roller skate. to be honest, after the first couple years of him being all talk and no action, i started nodding and zoning out when he mentioned roller skating.

this past week he surprised me. he actually put on some skates and did it. and he did it really, really well. like a roller skating olympian. i was deeply impressed, and more than that, really excited that he'd taken the initiative and actually done something about his passion.

since then he's been obsessed, in the way that only someone who's feeling inspired can be, with roller skating. everything reminds him of it. he keeps coming up with new, great ideas related to roller skating, and he rushes off to write them down so he doesn't forget. i've never seen him like this, and i really like it.

the trouble is, he can only roller skate alone. he can't do it with the kids around or with me in the room. he works 50 or so hours a week, but it's all night shifts so he's sleeping during the day a lot of the time. this leaves me alone with the kids all night and all day, 4 or 5 days a week. i get them food, change them, entertain them, clean up after them... i might get half an hour without them in a typical day, but that's only if i cut into my sleeping time. and i don't get much sleeping time, since both kids are miserably bad sleepers.

can you see how my partner having an exciting new (time consuming, solitary) hobby is a problem?

yesterday he kept sneaking off when i wasn't paying attention. in the end the day was a lot like the ones i have when he's sleeping. i wasn't particularly impressed. then last night he informed me that he'd be staying up late roller skating, sleeping in, roller skating, and napping before work. (he works tonight)

um, hell no.

so when the kids woke up at 6 i came upstairs (he sleeps up here during the day, and lately at night, too, so he can roller skate) and sent him down to care for his children. it's almost 10 am and my stomach is rumbling. i desperately want coffee. but more than that, even, i want a break from my kids.

so i took my clothes off (he can't coerce me into doing childcare when i'm not wearing anything, right?) (plus i haven't been naked just for the fun of it in about two years. it feels good) and pulled out the laptop and will stay here until the hunger pangs force me downstairs again.

later, when the baby is napping, i'll take the boy outside to play and shovel the walk. then my partner can work on his roller skating... until the baby wakes up.

i spend enough time alone with kids. i'm not going to become a roller skating widow. grrrrr.

signing off,
that naked chick

(no, kara, this post does not have pictures)

souper!

2008-12-09T10:45:00.002-06:00

we've been eating a lot of soup lately. it's cheap and filling and hot, and we're poor and (at dinnertime) hungry and cold. we've had rabbit soup, chili, and cheese, potato and broccoli soup this week. i'm going to share the cheese, broccoli and potato soup recipe with you.

note: all measurements and times are approximate since i hate measuring and timing things.

you will need:

potatoes
milk
water
broccoli
cheese
salt
pepper

peel and chop up 4 - 6 potatoes
put them in a pot with 1/2 milk and 1/2 stock (soymilk and ricemilk don't work very well for this. i had to go to the store and get the smallest milk i could find. i haven't bought milk in at least a year. it felt odd.) (i used water instead of stock, it was fine)
simmer until the potatoes are cooked. simmer time depends on how small you chopped your taters. a lid on the pot is helpful.
while they're simmering chop up 1-2 cups of broccoli very fine. also shred about a cup of cheese. i like sharp cheddar, personally. and i used 2 cups of cheese because i'm a cheese fiend, but i don't think it needed it.
take about a cup of potatoes out of the pot and set them aside.
dump the contents of the pot into the blender and puree.
put the glop back into the pot. it's hard to get it out of the blender, since it's thick, so add some milk and slosh it around until you can get most of it out.
add the broccoli to the pot and as much milk as you need to keep it the right consistencey. i had to keep adding milk because it kept getting too thick.
cook the soup for a few minutes. less than 10, probably.
add in the potatoes you set aside before in step 5.
cook for another couple of minutes.
add in the cheese, plus some pepper and maybe some salt.
take it off the heat.
stir in the beautifully melting cheese.
serve right away, possibly with these biscuits.
enjoy!

see, i made it look all complicated and hard because i gave it 16 steps, but in reality it's very fast, easy, and idiotproof. and delicious. did i mention delicious?

productiveness

2008-12-07T12:31:00.004-06:00

i finally have my camera back and so i can tell you about some of the stuff i've been doing for the past few months.i did mountains of canning and freezing all through the summer and fall. our house's corners are stacked with jars with pickles, jam, tomato sauce, and more. the freezer is crammed with tomatoes, rabbits, and half a pig. the above picture was taken in the fridge just now. the jam was opened this week, the pickles opened yesterday. it's the universe's best jam, in my humble opinion. chunky and tart and flavourful and just the right consistency. i've been hunting for excuses to eat more of it. finding a spoon is a good enough excuse, in my book.
i don't personally like pickles, but i made 11 litres of them for my partner, because he's a pickled food fanatic. we opened the first jar yesterday and he says they're the best pickles he's ever had. i believe him, since he sat down with a fork and ate half the jar right then.
i won't show you the frozen rabbit meat. you're welcome, kara.

we butchered the baby rabbits, then talked about it for about a month, and ended up butchering the adults, too. raising rabbits inside the house isn't really a great idea, it turns out. it's cool because we get local, ethical, affordable meat and we're more self-sufficent, but the flies and the stink are less cool. we'll definitley do it again when we a better setup, like a heated, ventilated garage or a well-sheltered outdoor spot.

my little guys went as yoda and luke this halloween. of course, i made their costumes. it was fantastic. we went to a party and they cuted all over the place. i went as the virgin mary, complete with an immaculate heart, but we have no pictures of that.

we made a christmas tree yesterday. we needed to have an invincible tree, since the baby is a destruct-o-bot, so here it is: green wrapping paper taped to the wall. it's actually really cool because the little dudes can make as many paper ornaments as they like and we can tape them on. it's very modern-looking in this picture, but it's already kindergarten-esque, with crayon and paint-decorated circles all over it. by solstice the green will be almost completely covered, i predict.

i've been knitting like a madwoman, lately. so many presents, so little time! the slipper has a sheepskin insole and recycled denim sole. i'm very proud of how it turned out. my right index finger, though, is suffering. pushing a tiny sewing needle through all those layers savaged it. hopefully it's healed by tomorrow, in time to sew the other slipper.
i'm making socks for my boy. he's always asking me to make him socks, so he'll be happy. i'm making them out of cotton (dishcloth cotton, the bulky-ish kind) so i can just throw them in the wash. worsted weight toddler socks sure take a lot less time than fingering-weight adult socks. i could get used to projects that take only a couple of hours.
the hat is for my sister in law. right at the end i ran out of yarn and had to unravel the beginnings of a glove i was making to get more yarn. it kept tangling and knotting... i was up really late last night finishing it. she'd better like it, is all i'm saying.

i've done about 10 other small knitting projects, too, but i don't have pictures, so i won't bore you about them.

what have you been making?