going away

the boy has been purely evil for a week straight. i suspect he's bored. previous to this week we'd been outside lots, doing stuff. but it's been rainy so we've been cooped up and he's making me want to kill him.
tomorrow i'm going out to the farm for a week. i'll still be alone with the babes, but with more to do. and the family that lives out there will be around. we'll be living in a tent, but the kid can wear himself out chasing chickens and goats.
so tonight i'm prepping a week worth of meals for while we're gone. seven breakfasts, seven lunches and seven dinners, plus snacks. and clothes. and diapers.
i really hope this works out.
i'll keep a journal and take lots of pictures so you'll get a super duper post upon my return. mark your calendars.

help, please.

i am going to be a bridesmaid next spring. one of my oldest friends is getting hitched . the wedding is far, far away so i need to pick the dress this july, get it fitted and still have it fit in april. july is too soon for me to have time to loose my tummy pudge.

so some help here, people. i have honkin' huge boobs (an H cup!!) and a gut that is pretty much always visible. so i need something that works with those. these are the designs i favour. my choices may change entirely when i'm actually in the store, but for now this is it: (all of these will be in brown)dress 1. the scarf-y thing might hide the gut... or would it accent it? i like the straps.

dress 2: on the right. the empire waist will either hide the gut or make me look pregnant, i don't know which until i try it. but with this one i can lose the gut by april without having to get the dress resized in the spring.

dress 3: thoughts?

dress 4: the one on the right. it looks like the dresses i wore to church when i was 10. but it could work.

that is all.

the bread robot conquers

the bread robot came.
the bread robot saw.
the bread robot conquered.

the bread robot kicked ass.

most people never have to encounter gluten free bread, but your typical loaf of gf bread is very dense, crumbly, hard, and at least 7$ a loaf. i don't buy it because i wouldn't pay that much for the best bread in the world, let alone that crap.
i heard legends about a breadmaker that had a gluten free setting. they said it made better bread than what you can get in the store. it also costs an arm and a leg. but it turns out that i had a zillion reward miles built up and one of the possible rewards was this fancy-assed breadmaker. so now i have about four reward miles and a bread robot.
and the bread is amazing.
ok, it's sort of spongy and tastes odd, but for gluten free bread that's breaderiffic. it's breadtastic.and the boy is eating his first-ever peanut butter sandwich.

oh, the name: the french on the box translates 'breadmaker' as 'robot-boulanger'. and the bread robot is so shiny and metallic and makes such cool noises... it's definitley a bread robot.

alphaghetti memories

one year when i was 15 or 16 i went to san diego (from canada) with nothing but two sarongs, a bathing suit, a guitar, a can opener, a fork and a case of alphaghetti.
yes, a case of it. seriously.
i slept on the beach (one sarong as clothes, the other as a blanket) swam all day, sat around bonfires all night, and lived on alphaghetti. the corners of my mouth cracked and bled from the godawful canned spaghetti. but i had a great time. i may be married and respectable these days, but my heart still secretly belongs to the surfers that shared their burritos and beer with me.

three years

three and a half years ago things were going haywire with my girly bits. you don't need details. basically, every month i was conceiving and miscarrying without ever knowing it. it sucked. the doc said i should quit the pill for a few months, let my body get back to normal, then try another type of pill. and that i shouldn't expect to get a period, since quitting the pill does that to a person for up to a year.three years ago this week i went to the walk-in clinic for my new prescription for the pill. the routine is that they do a preggo test before issuing the pills. it's no biggie. i pee in the cup and read my book for a few minutes, then the doc hands me my prescription and i'm good to go. i only ever felt the slightest twinge of trepidation as i peed in the cup, but no worse than usual. a few minutes later the doc came into the exam room and i said, looking up 'you got it? good, i need to get going' or something like that. and the doctor was silent. she was giving me a funny look. my stomach suddenly felt like a lead brick.

it turned out that i'd been pregnant for 5 months without knowing it. oops. guess i shouldn't have imbibed, huh?this was my belly, 2 weeks later, when my back was arched to make it stick out. it's bigger at this moment and i am definitley not pregnant. seriously, how could i have known?!?!

anyways, three years ago this week everything about my life changed. and now i here i am.

mother's day

yesterday when my partner got home i was just barely conscious, dragging my pathetic ass around the house. he fed and changed the babes then went off to bed, since he'd been working all night. i huddled on the couch, ignoring the kids for about 4 hours, then he was up again. despite his exhaustion he let me go nap, then fed and pampered and snuggled me for the rest of the day. no flowers, breakfast in bed, or card could make me feel as loved and cherished as this.
way to go, dude. i love you.

nutshell-sized cuteness

[a woman, a baby and a toddler lying in bed, dozing off together. stripes of light on the wall from the streetlight, the noise of a passing bus. the woman and the baby are facing one another and the baby is nursing, the toddler is facing the woman's back and the woman is stroking the toddler's face, stomach, back. very mellow]

toddler: jesus have penis?
woman: yep, jesus has a penis.
toddler: jesus have bum?
woman: you betcha.
toddler: ok.

[fade to black]

feliz the happy hen

years ago, when i was young and carefree, i lived in a dirt-poor village in rural mexico. i got myself a pet chicken for eggs and companionship. i named her feliz and carried her around, tucked under my arm, everywhere i went.
the village where i lived had tons of crazy, backwards superstitions. one of them was that chickens couldn't lay eggs without roosters around. total bollocks. they thought i was an idiot for having a laying hen with no rooster. each day a herd of kids would show up where i lived, asking if feliz had laid an egg. every day she came through for me. the locals decided that my chicken must be magical. they seriously thought she was special or blessed or something, laying eggs like that.

when i left to come back to canada i gave feliz to a family i was friends with.this is them.

when i left they were all excited. they had huge plans for getting feliz to reproduce and have a whole flock of magical chicks - without the help of a rooster.

as life goes on

so i got the job, then turned it down. it wasn't what i really want to be doing. i don't know what i want to be doing, but that definitley wasn't it. plus i still have 2 or 3 months of maternity leave left. why waste it?

and here is my peanut sauce recipe, for kara. because she needs it.

1/4 c  Hot water
1/2 c  Smooth peanut butter
1/3 c  Soy sauce
1/4 c  Lemon juice
1 ts Cayenne pepper
1/4 c  Brown sugar or honey

throw it all in the blender.
pour over steamed veggies & couscous, add to stir-fries,
make a salad dressing... there are no limits to this
sauce's potential.
use less cayenne if kids are going to be eating
it. or wimps. 

and so ends a boring post.